RM February 15 - Sweet 16

Right I have well and truly messed up my column dates, I have only just realised that the last column I posted was from March and not February. Arrghhh. Ah well it'll sort itself out in the wash, as they say.

Heading back home after work the other night the Young Wan pipped up “can I have a sweet 16 party?. I looked at her expectantly looking back at me and told her that notion was made up by MTV therefore no.

Have you seen that programme on MTV? It is vile, full of absolutely horrible teenage girls who only have to plead ‘Daddy, ohhh Daddy pleeaaseee, I really need a mercedes for my birthday, the volkswagon Beetle is just not me’ and they get bought the mercedes.

If you are into watching programmes featuring obscene and crazy amounts of money spent to put a little smile on the face of these fools’ daughters, then make sure and tune in.

Not only do these teens get bought a brand new car, but they also have the most and immoral lavish do which makes them the envy of their friends, nay their towns.

I don’t know what is more cringe worthy the obligatory car or the no-expense spared party, the dramatic entrances on horseback, the ‘my party must be the best EVER’ tantrums, the guest appearance of 50cent or ’oh please Daddy book’ Green Day, the trips to Paris to find the perfect dress; it is extravagance in it’s most decadent and a disgrace.

And the Young Wan, knowing this and in fairness to her she isn’t too impressed with it either), and having watched some of one or two programmes with her (I usually switch over in disgust long before the end) she still asked for a sweet 16 party. Teenagers are complete and utter chancers.

Even the name makes me cringe, whatever happened to having a 16th? Your 16th may be a milestone for your typical teenager but not a milestone along the lines of an 18th - key of the door/first official drink milestone.

So I told her she would have an 18th birthday party and we’d have a ball. She looked at me with a big question on her face as it to say ‘we’.

So I told her, her friends would be invited, my friends would be invited and of course family. She looked horrified.

She told me “well I’m going out”.

Reminding her she needed my permission to go out just made her give me a look as if to say ‘yeah right’.

“It’s my birthday” she said out loud and into herself she said ‘and I’ll do what I want’.

It got me thinking it shouldn’t be the child’s birthday it should be the mother’s. After all I was the one who spent 36 hours in labour to give birth, it should be me who gets the party and the presents.

So it is decided, I will have a sweet 16 AND 18th and you are all invited.

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