Tuesday, March 13, 2007

RM February 15 - Trail of Destruction

Trail of destruction/it began and ended with trousers

I've been done, screwed over and made a complete and utter eejit. This morning I have left the entire flat in complete and utter chaos and had little to do with it.

Hurricane Young Wan has wrecked havoc and left a trail of destruction in her wake.

This has all obviously been building up slowly until one little thing upset the uneasy chaotic balance levered by herself until it all came down on me this morning.

I suppose it began and ended with trousers. I had a do last weekend and she was coming with me so I wanted her dressed up to my liking not hers.

Knowing the stress a request for this normally gives on previous such occasions I told her well in advanced what I wanted her to wear and I told her to find the outfit days before she needed it,

From experience I have to do this. I can't tell you how many times we have discovered just before leaving the house that she can't find a shoe, her coat, therefore my mind.

And it isn't surprising when you consider the hovel that is her room.

So the night before the big event I asked her had she gotten everything sorted.

"Yeah, but I can't find the trousers!"
"Well you may, I told you days ago, I handed them to you, find them."
Ten minutes later:
"I can't find them"
"Young Wan, this is non-negotiable. I warned you, I told you, You had time to sort it out, Get them."

This happened over and over again for two hours until she pulled every item of clothing off every shelf and from her clothes rail onto the floor.

She sat on the pile and delved, she stood back and pulled at things. More energy was spent not finding than finding.

Then she came in and informed me, they weren't in her room, she didn't know where they were - she just couldn't find them.

Well that was it for me. I went in and immediately regretted having done so.

I started at the top of the pile and moved things one by one until the pile was moved to another corner of the room.

Still no sign of the trousers.

I then lifted up her chairbed thing and there were the offending items, lying on the floor (with a sponge chair on top) discarded from when I had given them to her to put away only days before.
That only took two hours and the entire demolition of the bedroom.

And so it has stayed demolished all week.

I have been on her back between the serious lack of studying and the bedroom, all the while trying to turn a blind eye to the real horrors of the bedroom.

The straw or should I say trouser incident that broke the camel's back took place this morning.
I was looking for a particular pair this morning that I had left on the table two days ago and which had obviously been 'put away' by herself in a futile cosmetic brush-over pretend to tidy the living room exercise.

So before she left for school I told her to get me them. She huffed and puffed because we had slept in and she didn't want to be asked to do anything by me.

But tough she put them away, somewhere, I didn't know having looked in obvious spots like my wardrobe.

Before booting out the door she shouted they were on the chair and bye bye I'm off to school.
When I went to get them. It wasn't them at all, so I had to go a-hunting.

They were finally discovered in her room, in the middle of the pile. Nice.

Anyway there will be some seismic activity in our house tonight as she will whether she likes it or not be sorting all this out. Wish me luck.

EDIT: I wrote this last month and at no stage yet has the room been done, but Nanny arrives tomorrow and it will be done by then if it kills her or me or both. Arrhhgggghhhhhg.

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Grandad said...

I would hazzard a guess that it is payback time for her moment of stardom in the TV?


Dave Williams said...

This brought me right back......Ahhhhh the good old days of winding my mum up. God I was a right little fecker. This post made me smile a lot so thanks. Good luck with the tidying!!

Red Mum said...

LOL at Grandad! She was thrilled to bits with Capital D even though the room as shown was not exactly as billed. That pic was from another time when I hit the roof and made a pile. So it was the pile shown, it had been bad, but not just THAT bad. Though I laughed (and was embarassed indeed) at the before, during and after shot!

This isn't payback this is pure and utter laziness. I believe she thinks the magic tidying fairies will do it for her overnight sometime.

And Dave, shame on you, ye little fecker! I'm tellin your ma!