RM Column - March 8 In the time of a teenager

A mix-mash of old and new... And I'll get on top of the actual dates when published at some stage...

It’s funny how time moves in different ways around the Young Wan depending on what she has to do.

If it is something for me, like say the dishes, time practically stops. She moves slowly, takes her time and stretches something that should only have taken five minutes to half an hour.

If I ask her to put something away, slowly, she, gets, up, off, her, chair, then, stands, and, thinks, about, the, command, in, question, before, slowly, doing, what, she, is, told.

This drives me nuts, completely and utterly.

She so far has appeared to lack that killer speed move, where a couple of things are done at once, like washing dishes, drying them, preparing food and answering the phone whilst keeping an eye on the news all at once.

I may have mentioned before the first thing ever said about her was by the midwife who helped me deliver her; she said the Young Wan was very ‘laid back’ because she didn’t cry.

And that mantle has been firmly on her head since birth; on the whole I love it. Then at times it drives me nuts, completely and utterly.

It has been great in that I could always take her anywhere without worrying about her acting strange, she was great in any situation with anybody.

But it has also meant there are times when I could happily use a cattle prod on her.
Course now she is a teenager she moves even more to the beat of her own drum.

So at times she potters about like she has all the time in the world to do whatever she wants. Then other times because she is late, say to meet the boyfriend, she tears around the flat like Speedy Gonzales.

The first time I saw that I was completely gobsmacked, I thought ‘so she can move’ when I should have really thought ‘so she can move when it suits herself’.

Say for example someone is coming over to the house and there are a couple of last minute things to be done, such as take out rubbish, take your books from the living room, why is your uniform in the living room, can you take the emptied contents of your school bag off my bed – the list is kinda endless, and she moves slowly.

It is at this stage I start doing the clapping.

Do you know what I mean? When I was a kid and dawdling my parents would do the clap clap, chop chop routine, where they keep saying ‘chop chop’ whilst clapping loudly.

I now do it too, I think it was instinctive, but it doesn’t work.

Not unless the Young Wan wants it to work.

I have seen the room, albeit badly, tidied in an hour so she can go to her drama class. I have seen dishes done in record time so she can go into town with her pals. Sometimes it is about trying to work out blackmail tactics will get things done.

Though in fairness while I have tried that it is a hit and miss affair.

She blew me away one morning when we slept in until 8.20am. Our normal wake-up call is at 7am and usually by 8.20am the Young Wan is already on the bus. Not that morning.

I leapt out of bed and woke her though she had already dragged herself out of bed.

Normal people would get themselves together as quickly as possible. What does the Young Wan do? Go into the shower and wash her hair because it was 'so greasy'.

I do not need to say here how she should have done that last night instead of looking at YouTube. That would be too sensible and teens don't generally do sensible. I don't need to say how she barely had time for breakfast let alone a last minute pampering session and when you are that late, washing your hair is a pampering session.

So it would seem there is always time to wash your hair, teenagers are mad.

Technorati tags: redmum irishblogs Redmum column young wan