I need a sub

I NEED a sub, well probably more than one. I just noticed on my last post I called it 'what is the chances of that?' when we know it should have been 'what are the chances...'.

I must have had an Ali G moment, and then I noticed another plural mistake in the body of the post and reckoned I need a sub-editor to clean up my work. I hold my head up to not re-reading, or re-reading throughly enough.

As I started to post this I realise I need a sub to clean up other areas of my life. Work could not be busier and getting more so.

And it is tough on the home life, my honey is doing her Junior Cert and I realised before Christmas that I would need help.

She is a fantastic kid but I cannot trust her to study and she needs someone to crack the whip and be on her back. If I am out working that isn't going to happen. I'll be phoning her every 20mins asking 'are you studying?' - it just doesn't have the same affect at all. Though in fairness I realise that even being on her back isn't enough to make her study but it is a necessary thing nonetheless.

The truth is that even though I have the biggest deadline in the world coming up I also have a monumental time in my daughter's life coming up(as does she), her Junior Cert and I need to be here for her, I need to support her. And I have tried hard sometimes unsuccessfully to live by the mantra health, family, work, in that order.

Besides that when I am here there is a good dinner each night, I only realise now how important I obviously find having a good dinner on the table because I feel guilty if she has to heat up something and appallingly guilty if this happens two times in a week, which it has and sometimes three times.

And so far that is ridiculous because she is heating up good solid meals, Sunday dinners on a Monday including my home-made from scratch gravy, oven bakes and occasionally oven fried chips and Donegal Catch. Okay okay the last isn't healthily good at all but it is a lesser occurrence than reheated home made dinners.

At her age for me it was a different story but by even stating that am I going into the realms of sackcloth clothes, no shoes and you never knew you had it so well? Probably. But as a mum my number one urge in life is to worry and worry I will.

I realise I need help, I need someone to be there for her and for me, I just can't do it on my own.

So I took steps and asked Nanny to come and stay for my craziest time and she said 'no problem'. However I foresaw that time taking place later in the year. But as things were bananas before Christmas and even madder after I realise I need her for longer than I thought.

And I asked her today will she come sooner rather than later and she said yes and I am so grateful for the help.

Even thinking about it relieves so much from me I can't explain. So the plan is she arrives at the end of the month until probably the start of June and just because I need her and thank God for that. It isn't a worry gone but it is certainly a worry drastically lessened.

Technorati tags: redmum irishblogs teenagers junior cert