It's oh so quiet - RM column August 10

Again this next post was cogged together while I was in Donegal. Actually that is something I should have mentioned before now. I didn't know at all where I could find a computer in Donegal where we were to write let alone email my column. So I decided that I would put together the column from things I have written on the blog. I then went into a credit union in a small village to see if there was anywhere with public access to the internet and the manager allowed me 15 minutes on his computer to send it on. Now where would you get that?

And I have just realised that I have completely messed up somewhere along the line on the dating of these columns, this was sent in on the 10th but published on the 17th. Arrrghhh - I'll figure it out somewhere along the line. It'll probably be something that I'll fix when I archive them along the side of the blog (something I haven't done since May!)

My little baby went away on holiday with her Nanny and I am missing her already. It is a bit ridiculous because up until the night before she left we were both looking forward to her holiday.

I've needed a break; my Mum-stress has been at a constant level of 9.9 out of 10 for quite some time and because of that AND because of the effects of this Mum-stress on the poor Young Wan she has also needed a break.

And now she's away and I'm all sad.

I can't hear Nirvana drifting in from her window into the living room as well as through the walls, the dog has been going to the window every five minutes and it is just so quiet.

There are no dishes in the sink, no strewn pyjamas in the living room in the mornings and no glasses everywhere in the flat but in the kitchen cupboards.

The poor doggie was absolutely traumatised by her leaving, it is mad how much they cop onto that is going on around them.

She saw me pull out the suitcase to pack and from then on she was slightly more derangedly cute and playful until she saw the Young Wan lift her suitcase out of the flat and downstairs and the doggie howled like she was being beaten.

She isn't a barker really so this was a bit 'ach the poor wee doggie what is she thinking?'

I recently made my first purchase on ebay, a backpack small dog carrier with ventilation bits and the rest, only we haven't taken it for a spin yet though we have forced the doggie inside and I mean forced.

If the bag had been pulled out that morning, I reckon the doggie would have jumped into it and strapped herself in.

Then we left and she didn't howl at first then we got outside and oh my god the dog was distraught.

She obviously recognises the suitcase, in the past we have gone away without her and gone with her but she has never howled like that. It was heart wrenching in a morning which was already a bit fraught.

We walked down the road to the sounds of the dog looking at each other. So I had no other course of action other than to phone the house, go onto the answer machine and leave a message to the house saying 'ach Honey its okay, I'm coming back later, and I'll be home in a bit. I'm not going away'.

I don't know if it made the doggie feel any better but off we went to the station.

So now I am sitting here and there is no one telling me long-winded stories about things I can't follow, there is no one asking me if I have seen her black eyeliner, no one has broken into the box of meringues and stolen half; as Bjork sang 'its oh so quiet'. Oh and I don't have to put the phone lock on the phone, though at this stage it feels wrong, very wrong. I might just put it on to make myself feel better.

What on earth am I going to do with myself?

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