The saga of the keys

FOLLOWING the third loss of the only set of housekeys in two weeks, I believe that they are developing a personality of their own and are choosing to hide.



But it’s not just about their apparent loss; my rant has also to do with the fact that despite visiting THREE separate locksmiths/keycutter on FOUR separate occasions, not one, NOT ONE of the feckers have managed to properly cut a key copy that works. Not one, no times, they just do not work in the door.

My story begins back in June, when one morning the young wan decided to take my keys instead of her own. Big mistake though I didn’t know it at the time.

I had already made a copy of the flat door key as the young wan had previously lost her set. And the day she borrowed my keys I realised it didn’t work, the key used would not even go into the lock as it was too big.

Then she lost MY keys.

So not having a key to the front door of my flat meant that it could not be locked, so it is just as well that Dublin people are not into robbing houses…

I made a second visit to another locksmith just before going on holiday, and asked him to try and make a copy of the flat door key, even though it didn’t work, I figured that if he would try by using a smaller width key that it may work.

But he refused point blank, wouldn’t try, not at all to my disbelief. I told him that I wouldn’t come back to complain if it didn’t work but I was desperate and needed to try before dismantling the whole lock.

So I decided to get two copies of the front door key, went home, put them in the door one at a time and not one of the feckers worked, not one, they wouldn’t even go in the door.

One new lock, not key, a feckin lock later, the young wan mislaid the keys in the flat and was locked in all day and unable to go to school as I had already left for work.

So two weeks ago I got another key cut from another locksmith. Guess what? You got it – it didn’t work.

Not that it should have surprised me because he took all of half a minute to do it.

Then the young wan mislaid the keys again and spent another day locked in the house.

ARrrgrghhhHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

And then *hangs head in shame* I mislaid them on Sunday night. When Nanny and the young wan arrived back home from Belfast, I went to the table where they were left to throw them out the window (I love that having an occasional inclination to be lazy and not wanting to walk down the stairs) and *POOF* they had vanished.

We have spent Monday and Tuesday looking for them, well sorry Nanny has been locked in the flat until the young wan comes back from school. Well not actually locked in but she can’t leave until someone returns. And thankfully until today, the weather was such that she didn’t actually want to go anywhere.

They eventually turned up ON THE TABLE. The table where I looked at least five times, where Nanny looked many times, the young wan looked but she doesn’t count as something could be waving at her and she wouldn’t see them.

Meanwhile Nanny went back to the last locksmith this week and despite me telling her how quick he was and useless and how the results did not work, she allowed him to make two copies in less than a minute. There was no filing, no buffing nothing and of course neither key works.

So I am bringing back all three keys that he cut and I will stick them up each nostril and am still debating what to do with the third.

Regarding the previous two cut before going on holiday, I will do the same and I am still pondering what to do about the original crap locksmith and the one key.

Why is nothing ever easy in the Red Mum household?


What we may have to resort to, pic from here.

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