* in disgrace, yet again.........

THE young wan is in disgrace. And been there for some time, so much so I am beginning to think that it is their favourite place. Maybe people can be forgiven, particularly those who are not parents to teenagers, that teenagedom begins at 13 - far from it...

Teenagedom, or in medical terms the replacement of your beautiful, well-mannered, loving child with the spawn of Satan, is a nightmare for many parents. It can begin from 10 onwards, and has more to do with the young one thinking they are young adults. In reality, they had more sense as babies, more charm as seven year olds and more wit as a toddler.

Having spent the last 12 or so years patting myself on the back for a job well done - little did I know what would be in store ahead of me. It wasn't enough to go to college with when the young wan was a toddler, no mean feat, pay for a two-bedroom apartment in Dublin out of my wages, defo no mean feat, and rear the young wan completely on my own, oh no, now it is blood and tears they want.

So I have decided to lock them away until they are at least 25 and capable of normal interaction with the unsuspecting public, actually to hell with that and with everyone else, until capable of normal interaction with me... I have also decided that the doggie gets the inheritance and family jewels.