RM colum February 15th - Internet safety is still an issue

RM column - February 15th - Internet safety is still an issue

Not that long ago parents’ biggest problem concerning the internet was probably concerning what their child was looking at, now there are many more issues involved and checking out the more lets say colourful side of the internet probably ranks along the bottom of the list.

Research now shows that one of the most wonderful evolutions of the internet, social networking sites pose one of the biggest problems for young people. Social networking sites include sites like Bebo, MySpace and Facebook and I have written a lot about them before.

Don’t get me wrong I love the social networking phenomenon and have gotten so much out of it but I have always been astonished and disturbed to see how much information our young people are putting on the internet for all to see and save.

We can see photos of the young people, we can sometimes see phone numbers, we know where they go and who their friends are. That is something I am not at all comfortable with.
This is leaving them open to all sorts of things like identity theft, abuse and bullying not to mention the potential of harming choices they will make in the future.

While it would appear there is a certain amount of ‘it won’t happen to me’ it does appears that some of the safety messages are getting through to young people but we do need to do more and remain vigilant about our children’s internet activity.

One of the things about the internet which many people overlook and it is a biggy is that all the information is saved for future reference and can be used against you.

Recently a college admissions staff member admitted to going into potential students Bebo and MySpace pages and checking them out. So if the student has things about themselves that are less than favourable they can probably rule out that college.

And what constitutes less than favourable? Well probably talking about getting drunk all the time with the pictures to prove it.

This can also follow through to work so for that reason alone it is seriously important to watch what you say and publish about yourself.

Webwise.ie (which provides advice on safely using the internet) has found that 71 per cent of young people have public profiles on their sites. So anyone anywhere can check them out.
Being added as a friend also poses problems where people accept friendships online from people they have never met. And bear in mind how easy it is to go online and lie about who you are.

So even if your profile is not public and only available to friends, if you add a stranger as a friend your previous safety action is breached. Webwise has also found that 27 per cent of Irish nine to 16 year olds have met someone new on the internet who has asked for information such as their photo, phone number, address or the school they go to.

In some cases this is innocent and just teenagers meeting online but it is clear there are those who want this information for sinister purposes.

Scarily 12 per cent of Irish young people admit to posting their phone number, 8 per cent display their address, 49 per cent their date of birth and 79 per cent their full name. I have to admit to making mistakes myself, it is an area where we are all still learning.

We need to drive home the message of being safe on the internet to our young people. This isn’t about not being cool and not understanding the interwebs or indeed enjoying the benefits the internet has to offer. We teach our children all sorts of safety rules from they are small and the internet is no different.

Oh yeah Happy New Year

I HAVEN'T had any internet access at home since before Christmas when Nanny *ahem* fiddled with the vodafone broadband yoke and the computer no longer recognises it. But eh that is another story, she says she didn't touch anything but eh it ain't working and hasn't worked despite being reinstalled a load of times.

So until I get some kind of broadband sorted out in the new place our home is an internet free place. As an aside I had a mad phonecall with Eircom when I tried to move my account. The conversation went something like this...

"Hello I wish to move my landline and broadband account to my new address."

"Okay, the house you are moving too has never had a landline so that will be (large amount) to get it connected and you will have to get onto your broadband provider to have that moved as it isn't with us."

"Eh, there was a landline previously in the new house and my broadband is with Eircom."

"Your broadband is not with us, it says here another provider and I have no record of a landline at that address.'

"Eh it isn't, it is with yourselves... And there was a landline..."

At that stage I gave up. I called another time after that and came against another brick wall as I didn't have my account number with me at the time. So the bottom line is I have no line and no broadband.

So apologies for not posting over the last two weeks and belatedly wishing you all a Happy New Year and the best of everything.

Someone broke the internet

I'VE seen this already on someones blog and I cannot remember where so sorry about that, but I happened upon it again on Flickr. Enjoy and remember not to open too many applications, pages and tabs at once...


Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash

RM column July 6th - Lessons in Google

I wrote recently on how the whole family is becoming more and more technology-minded and it’s generally great, well except when they want to get on my computer when I am working.

So whether the Young Wan is browsing YouTube, Nanny her cheap flight sites or me anything and everything, the laptop can pretty much be on the go all the time.

When you consider the fact that Nanny lives a good bit away, far enough away that regular phonecalls are just too expensive, her recent foray into the internet and all its bounties is very welcome.

After all we can talk for free on Skype, or just chat through the excellent instant messaging service that is available for free with no messy downloading on Google Mail.

I tried unsuccessfully to get the Young Wan interested in it last year when she went away, but she was insistent on using the MSN instant message service involving downloads which is not something that every work place allows.

Besides if you are a bit of a computer novice, it makes absolute sense to keep things simple and what could be simpler than a chat facility where you can just chat.

So that’s how I have been keeping in touch with the Young Wan. She goes online and can see that I am also online and we can chat.

A funny thing happened though the other day that made me realise google chat has actually increased and benefited our communications, and more importantly my probably non-existent listening skills where she is concerned.

Take for example a situation recently the Young Wan opened a Bebo account and in a short period of time the former friends who were bullying her last year found her page on Bebo and started to post comments.

Given the grief they caused last year I probably would have hit the roof if we were having the conversation face to face. It is hard for me to understand why you would put yourself through that again. In real life I would probably rant/rave and ask a lot of questions the Young Wan is not really supposed to answer. She is just supposed to nod her head and agree with me.

If she gets fed up with this she may resort to becoming cheeky which then piles on even more annoyance from me.

However, we were chatting the other day online and she mentioned her new Bebo page and I immediately typed ‘are you wise?

She explained she uses it to talk to her friends who are not on Google mail, so I suppose it is fair enough she is older and wiser than last year. But she was chatting to some random fella who is into the same music as herself which I didn’t like at all.

She told me: “They are all weirdoes but what’s the harm if they don’t know anything about you? I replied: “Because you could inadvertently tell them more than you should.”

She added: “I’m not stupid mum! I just talk to them about music and all that. I’m not a baby I can handle it and it [the bullying] was a long time ago. It was just them being horrible its fine now.”

Well I can’t really argue with that, at all. Much as I want to fight all her battles and protect her from the nastiness of others, I suppose I can’t do that all the time. She is now growing up and becoming more and more mature and capable.

And the beauty of all this is because I am typing a question to her on Google chat, I have to wait on her answer. It’s a far cry from how sometimes situations like this are handled in real life when I sometimes don’t give her a chance to answer. It’s one question after another bombarded at her.

Mmm I think there may be a lesson for me here in Google chat!

RM column June 29th - ethugs and cyber bullying

God it has been a seriously long time since I published any of my columns and I don't know where to begin with them. I'll need to go back and check them out, some of which have been included here in some version, others are completely new. The last one I published was from May 31st and I reckon after that there were a lot of Junior Cert related ones which have already been posted here.

So I'll take a stabbing guess now and publish what I think to be the next one along, it probably isn't though. And I should do an update for this one, because the ending (as has happened over time) is not what I have initially written. I'll explain that again when I get the energy.

E-thugs and Cyber Bullying

New figures show that our young people do not appear to be learning how to use the internet safely or indeed responsibly with one third of American teenagers and one in five of UK teenagers who go on line claiming to be the victims of cyber-bullying.

While these figures do not relate to Ireland there is no reason whatsoever to think this is not happening here on our kids’ social networking Bebo and MySpace pages.

Branded e-thugs, cyber-bullies are using the internet to target others. Bullying on the internet has hit 39 per cent of teen social-network users in the States compared to the 22 per cent of teenagers who do not use social networking sites who have been bullied.

One of the biggest complaints is that personal information is being shared, embarrassing photographs are being published on-line without the person’s permission. This kind of thing could be devastating for any of us let alone those vulnerable teenage years.

The Young Wan is on holiday and recently set up another Bebo page. She has definitely learned from her previous experience where former friends targeted him in a nasty and vindictive campaign of bullying. This stemmed onwards and outwards and they even spread their vile to kids she was in primary school with.

This resulted in me visiting one of the perpetrator’s parents who were brilliant and understanding and we cleared the whole thing up and had the vicious remarks deleted from the site.

Now that she is away from the summer she misses her friends and has been keeping in touch using gmail and her new Bebo page. But one of the former pals has found her page and has been commenting with his normal-brand of idiocy.

The good thing is that she appears to not be too bothered by this. And that’s fine. My worry is that he will start to take it up to the levels he did last year where I was compelled to bring it to an unsuspecting parents’ door.

It is as if the kids feel the internet removes them from their actions; when in fact it links them to this bad behaviour in ways they could never dream of. Ways that could see the Guards knocking on their door. Or ways that will edge a vulnerable teenager over the edge, over something that possibly started off as a joke or a slagging.

That’s not to say I think they are unaware of the consequences of their actions, some of them don’t care at all and I know that.

As horrible as the playground bullying is, bringing that to the internet gives it another life, it spreads and could become linked to the victim for a lot longer than a bad nickname would.

A whispered rumour in a school takes on a whole new dimension on the internet. With rumours time passes and others become the centre of attention. Sometimes the rumour may not even make its way back to the person targeted.

However, when this rumour is put out on someone’s Bebo page it can get a whole new life.

We need to constantly talk to our kids about appropriate behaviour on-line; none of us would like to think our kids are bullies but everyone has the propensity to poke fun and at any time even that can get out of hand.

As I have said before talk to your kids about their internet use, make sure they know the very real dangers of giving out personal information, posting pictures of themselves online and of how they conduct themselves in relation to others. We know the effects of bullying is immense, the effects of cyber-bullying could be much more far-reaching.

You can read what I have written before about social networking sites here . If you have any stories on cyber-bullying I would be very interested to hear.

RM January 5th - Teens acting safely on internet

A UNIVERSITY study carried out in the States has found that most teenagers who use social networking site MySpace.com do so responsibly however the study also revealed there are still some areas of concern where our young people are leaving themselves vulnerable.

I have written about the dangers of Bebo and MySpace before and whilst I do not wish ever to give the impression that I think they are bad news and dangerous, I don’t. But I do know the information that is available on young people on these sites does raise cause for concern.

The lure of these sites are huge for lots of people and teenagers are no exception. Firstly they can decorate their homepages reflecting their personality. They can meet up online and chat with their pals. They can post pictures, upload music and generally be very creative with their pages.

They are so popular that your teen might be asked by their schoolmates for their Bebo homepage before being asked for their phone number.

There have been fears and scaremongering about the dangers of sites such as Bebo and MySpace, and while many of these do have some basis in reality, there are certainly many educational benefits to the sites and the vast majority of uses will not experience anything negative using the site. However this depends on the savyiness of the young person using them and does not take into account the growing incidences of bullying using these sites.

While I welcome the findings of the American study, you only have to have a look at young people’s profiles on Bebo to know there are still many, many young people giving away too much personal information on the internet. Or where 13 and 14-year-old girls give themselves names like sexygirl or lovekitten. That’s just too suggestive to me and completely inappropriate language for young teens. It is one thing to chat like that with pals, it is another kettle of fish posting it online for all and sundry to see.

The study found that half of teenagers in the study posted their pictures online, many also provided details descriptions of themselves, while 15 per cent included suggestive pictures of their friends.

It appears however that the safety message is getting through to young people with more than 90 per cent with public profiles not including their full name in the profiles. 40 per cent of teenagers kept their pages completely private to everyone bar their friends.

I’d like to say that you can see these more safety-conscious trends on the Irish teenager’s pages on Bebo. You can’t. We can see names, photographs, where they like to go, who their friends are. A wealth of information that really should not be put out into the internet is out there.

The best way to deal with your child using sites like Bebo and MySpace is to talk to them about the dangers and about what they should and should not be revealing on the internet. Banning your child from using these sites will not work, informing them and therefore arming them with the appropriate information is far more constructive.

Technorati tags: redmum irishblogs Redmum column young wan young wanbebo MySpace

Cyberstalking in Ireland

John at Cloudlands has an interesting and informative post about Cyberstalking in Ireland. While there are exceptions I can think of to some things he said on the whole it is an incredibly sensible and succinct piece on being safe using social networking sites.

Hits of the day

Damien's discovered that a past post of his on Thinkhouse PR has disappeared from a google search despite being in the top three previously. Odd indeed and delighted to see the tags from all the corresponding posts has dominated the cloud tag on Irishblogs.

It reminded that that when I moved to Blogger Beta I trackedbacked (well I think I did, I'm still grappling with that one) to a post on Blogger's Buzz about problems I had with it. The next day I got loads of visits from people passing by from the Blogger Beta post. When I checked back a couple of days later it was gone. I presumed at the time that they only allowed so many trackbacks to be shown at any time, maybe I was wrong!

Another important link is to Cllr Seamus Ryan's blog with his online petition for Breastcheck to be extended to all parts of the country. It is mad to think in 2006 that your geographical location dictates whether or not you can get avail of this vital service. Go sign the petition.

Meanwhile Cllr Damien Blake is calling on bloggers to start an internet campaign on the carnage on our roads, I don't agree with all his suggestions but I'm all for action on our roads.

Well done to both councillors for utilising the internet on two very important issues. We need more of this in the Irish Blogosphere.

Technorati tags: redmum irishblogs roadsafetyblog breastcheck thinkhousepr

RM August 18 - Teens and the internet

Recent research has shown how internet usage and internet dangers has grown dramatically for our teenagers/kids over the last couple of years.

Consider the fact that 96 per cent of children use the internet as polled by the National Centre for Technology in Education site www.webwise.ie. Then consider that one in 10 use some kind of instant messaging programme such as MSN, Google Chat or Skype. (If you do not know what these are, go look on the internet and find out.)

One in fifteen of those surveyed say they have met someone in real life whom they met on the internet. In 2003 that figure was one in 23. That is some jump and in a very short period of time.

Of those one in 15 – 11 per cent of the nine to 16 year olds surveyed – said they met someone they first encountered online who tried to physically hurt them. ALL those incidents of physical and verbal abuse were carried out by an adult who pretended to be a child.

This information alone surely should be a wake-up call for parents.

Anyone who thinks their kid is equipped to deal with people like this, who think their kids are going to recognise this, is seriously deluded.

The statistics show that a serious amount of our kids are, by their internet usage, putting themselves unwittingly in danger.

I recently read arguments from people who used the analogy of riding a bike to explain their point how parents should not be worried about their kid’s internet usage.

Their point was that children can get hurt on a bike so is this a reason to forbid kids from riding bikes?

As cute as this comparison is – for me it is just that, cute. For a start you wouldn’t send your child out on a busy main road to play on their bike in the same way that nowadays we make our kids wear helmets so they do not crack their skulls on pavements or whatever.

It is no different with the internet.

There is no doubt the internet has transformed so much, from how we communicate with each other to the endless learning opportunities for young and old alike. And I think it is great.

But like everything it has its dangers.

What I found shocking is that 50 per cent of parents had not talked to their children about the children’s activities on the internet.

I can understand that.

I am in my mid-30s, computers and the internet have been part and parcel of my whole working life. I have always loved it and as a result have probably pursued more knowledge on it than has been necessary for my jobs.

The technologies of the internet have always fascinated me and for many other parents I know this isn’t the case. I had my daughter young; many other parents in my daughter’s year at school are at least 10 or more years older.

For many of those parents the internet is a weird world they have no idea about.

They maybe can send an email but beyond that amounts to massive amounts of confusion and just not being able to get to grips with it all. They just do not know and in some cases have no inclination to explore the internet because it feels a world beyond them; it is the classic generation gap.

I have had all these internet danger worries with my own daughter concerning Bebo as some of you may remember from previous columns and I think I have bored her to death with it all but I do believe she has listened to me.

Ach who am I fooling she is only 14. She is not able to deal with the wiliness of someone who is intent in dubious dealings on the internet.

She is starting out on the internet and along with her email she is mad about u-tube, any internet time she has spent has been looking at music videos though this has all been done with me in the room.

I do hope though I have given her important information along the way.

Parents need to arm themselves with information. If you know nothing about the internet, with September coming now is time to look at those local community education classes.

What are you waiting for? Find a course on computers and the internet, consider that a challenge from me.

Go on the journey, learn more and arm yourself with information. You will be pleasantly surprised and it will bring you closer to your kids (whether they like it or not). And let me know via email how you have gotten on.

In the meantime if you are worried about any of the issues I have raised; make a start by going to http://www.webwise.ie and check out the advice and information there.

Technorati tags: redmum irishblogs teens and the internet teenagers internet