I should have said

In my last column posted below I lamented the loss of a dinner plate and blank looks. The column was written three-odd weeks ago and the plate has since turned up.

It was on her bed, not by her bed or under her bed or indeed near her bed but actually on it. I found it after demanding the sheets from her bed to no avail forcing me to cross the boundaries of human decency and enter her room.

Though in fairness to the awol plate her bed is the size of a large country. I bought it thinking a double was a good idea, afterall in my head we are going to get out of this flat as soon as humanly possible. So while her room is longer than it is wide, the high-rise double bed for a new place sounded great.

And then I assembled it and Jaysus not only is her bed bigger than mine but it is the size of a small country. There have also been many banged heads. So as surprising as it may sound but the idea that a plate could be exiled at the bottom of the bed for a couple of weeks.

Ah teenagers!

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