Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Martha Stewart can’t fry an egg

DOING the auld channel hopping thing last night on the telly I stumbled across Martha Stewart and yer man Conan O’Brien attempting to make an Irish Fry probably as part of a St Patrick’s theme show. After seeing the awful attempt at a fry up, I had to switch over as I felt decidedly ill.

Firstly Conan went on about the aroma of melting lard before Martha fecked up her fried egg by giiving it a big flourished stab breaking her yoke. I mean really, Martha Stewart can’t fry an egg.

Martha messing up a fried egg

Martha then told Conan to help himself to ‘blood pudding’ and the most unappetising-looking sausages, black and white pudding before pouring beans all over the top. If someone poured beans over the top of my fry up… why I would…

What is that

She proceeded to pour whiskey into orange juice, Guinness into a coffee cup before giving Conan some fruit soda with marmalade on top of the beans-ridden disgusting fry.

UrrgggUrrgggg

Martha we do not eat fruit soda with a fry, maybe with a cup of tea but we might have soda farls with a fry. The research was just not up to scratch with plenty of stereotyping thrown in for good measure.

I always have Guinness with a fry up What!

Just for any Americans who may have seen the show, that is not an Irish Fry, far from it. For your information here’s how a fry should look, minus the all-important soda farl, which I think mixed up Martha’s research people.

UlsterFry

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8 comments:

Emma in Canada said...

You reminded me of my fella with this post, he complains about our lack of ingredients for an Ulster Fry. We've the wrong sort of sausage and no soda bread. Our beans are crap. He could go on for ages. He tries his best though and one time my son had a friend over for supper and he said about the fry "Hey, this is breakfast!"

Laughman said...

Now we know why she was sent to prison - for impersonating a cook!

tawdreyaudrey said...

Coffee with a fry is definetly not on and I'm not even sure about tomatoes there either.

Anonymous said...

How about Martha Stewart and friend go into a pub in the North. Martha's friend orders two whiskeys and soda. Martha quickly usurps the order declaring she's not that hungry.

tawdreyaudrey said...

How about Martha Stewart and friend go into a pub in the North. Martha's friend orders two whiskeys and soda. Martha quickly usurps the order claiming that she's just not that hungry

Omaniblog said...

But what about the black pudding? You can't have a proper Irish fry-up without black pudding - even if you don't like black pudding. You can always leave it un-eaten on the side.
Clonakilty black pudding of course...

Hugh Green said...

The whole thing looks quite revolting, I mean whiskey in orange juice? Why not sprinkle a few shamrocks over the baked beans too? The woman obviously can't stop making a plaster out of everything.

Emma in Canada,

Our beans are crap.

Most people here eat Heinz beans. Except for some weirdoes who eat Batchelors.

Emma in Canada said...

Hugh, the heinz beans in Canada are completely different from the ones over there. So I hear, since I'd not be caught dead eating either.