Red Mum column December 9

HERE is the latest Redmum column from The Echo concering morning times in our household.

The paper hits the streets on a Thursday and while I said here previously that I would post the article on a Monday, I just cannot contain myself. But from next week youse will all have to wait...



Morning battles never get any easier

Some of the worst moments in our house take place in the morning as we are both running around like crazy things trying to get to work/school on time.

This is not a time for the faint-hearted because it is when the cheek, the rolling-up to heaven of the eyes, the slamming of doors, stomping of feet – and that’s just me! (Only jokingish) I do at times feel sorry for those poor unfortunates who live in the flat underneath us.

I suppose I am really lucky, I never suffered toddler tantrums, I just wouldn’t allow it and thankfully she wasn’t the type. She has never screamed at me, shouted or roared the way some other teen monsters do. I suppose now I am getting my payback.

So for those parents out there whose toddler/child was a nightmare, an absolute brat, there is hope. Maybe your payoff will be a well-behaved, eloquent and pleasant to be around teen.

But I should be clear on the point that if there is a screamer, shouter or roarer in our house, it’s me and not herself. I should also point out that I wasn’t always like that. The Young Wan doesn’t shout or scream, she just silently and defiantly says nothing, nothing at all.

Generally this happens when the morning rush has reached the stage when we are both nearly running late and I am being treated/looked at/barked at like I have asked her to kill her granny when what I have actually asked ‘have you brushed your teeth?’

Or there is the other bastion of appalling parenthood guaranteed to bring forth a wealth of huffs, puffs and banging of doors is when I ask if she has either a) made a sandwich for lunch or b) remembered to take the sandwich I have already prepared for her.

What an awful mother I am to try to make sure she has sustenance during the school day; oh and do not get me started on ensuring she has breakfast.

On the subject of ‘have you seen my (fill in as appropriate)?’ I have to say I have reached the point where many other parents before me have evolved too where it is a case of ‘where did you put it last?’, which never goes down well.

And I do realise my response is probably not that helpful, but I have spent a lifetime keeping together jigsaws, toys that come in a million pieces, lego, you know yourself and now I am of the belief that the Young Wan should now start to take care of her own stuff.

One of the other morning troubles in our house is the nonsensical lying; made all the more nonsensical when the young wan should know by now that I double-check these things, having learnt enough through previous mishaps (I am being very generous there)

Take for example the simple question of ‘have you made a sandwich?’. Big sigh from the young wan ‘yessss’. To which I reply ‘show me then’.

Some fumbling later she will then admit that she didn’t make one at all. Sorry did I say admit, I should have said forced to own up to lying about something so stupid.

Despite the fact this is not new practise on my part, I regularly check, she will still persist in trying to fool me.

Aye great move! Go to school and starve all day, that’s really showing me. HA!

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