Red Mum column December 15

I HAVE no willpower, none at all. Here's the next column as contained in today's edition of The Echo on the topic of dirty dishes. Yeah yeah, I said last week that I would be posting on this on the following Monday, but I have NO willpower. Next week definitely, really, without a doubt.

So far those of you who pop in and out of here will recognise the majority of each column. They have been originally posted here but I have had a wordcount to stick to and some posts have been combined and jiggled (nearly) beyond recognition. However next week's column is all new and so it really starts.



It's not dirty if you can't find it, right?

Now that the Young Wan is growing up a bit the dishes have become one of her household chores. The others include keeping her room tidy (impossible), tending to the doggie (done mostly by me), general gopher duties (go for this, go for that) as well as lifting up after herself (never ever done).

When the dishes first became her domain, oh they sparkled and shone, she took massive pride in her work and they were wonderful. Oven and casserole dishes were the cleanest they have been since being bought; however, you should see the salmonella and disease-ridden dishes and glasses now.

Prior to dishing out dinner when you find food hardened on plates or cutlery (yeuck) it has become normal practice for me to start giving out (understatement of the year) about the state of the dishes and that's a good day cos at least the dishes are done.

Then there are the days the dishes aren't done… Bear in mind, generally the dishes are only what has been used that day, so there are normally not that many.

We live in a small flat, one of those where the kitchen (what a big description for such a small place) is in the living room. So it is important that the dishes are done and put away otherwise the room looks messier than what it normally is.

The main problem is that when they come home from school, they think they have all the time in the world to mess about.

At some point on my way home from work I'll phone home to her know, it is our five minute warning type thing. At this point I know panic has descended in our house and the Young Wan is running around like a mad thing trying to get everything done.

I believe in those instances washing the dishes involves dipping them into water before wiping with a tea-towel as if I won't notice.

Once I came home to a seemingly tidy living room and the dishes appeared done. I went to get a spoon to make a cup of tea only to discover not one piece of cutlery in the drawer, where on earth were they? Then I noticed a pot was gone as were plates, cups and glasses. In fact there wasn't one glass left in the cupboard.

Cue one harassed shout to the Young Wan 'where's all my crockery?' who comes in with the obligatory shrug and 'dunno'.

So one trip into the bastion of filth that is her bedroom and I spot the badly-hidden treasure hoard of dishes discovered in a storage box…

What kind of foolish, stupid and not to mention loony behaviour is that? And why was my child doing it?

I am clueless as to the answers but that was about a year and a half ago and thankfully after about four episodes of 'hide the dishes'; the young wan quickly (once again ha) learnt this wasn't the way to go.

I have compromised, very rarely is there a shed load of dishes to be done, I will generally try to do that before going to bed, or after dinner itself, so the young wan only has to keep the sink free from their own washing. Unfortunately I seem to have lost out big time in that deal.

I suppose with teenagers you learn to choose your battles.

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