Thursday, October 27, 2005

The first three months are the hardest - Pah!

JUST after I had my daughter some bright spark told me that the first three months of a baby are the hardest! What a bloody joke.

That was obviously the opinion of a man who had little to do in reality with their own child hence the absolutely ridiculous and untrue statement.

Let me put you straight, the first three months are a dawdle, an absolute dream. Your new baby smells wonderful, mostly, and only needs fed, changed and loved to be happy.

No the first 13 or so years are the easiest, then they become a monster. And any parent who tells you otherwise is definitely luckier than they could ever realise, or are lying through gritted teeth.

The thought of another couple of years of things as they are withers me.

In our household, the ongoing saga of the room continues. I could not believe my eyes when I went into it this morning; it is a filthy hovel! I should probably threaten her with posting pictures of it online identifying her. But I don’t think she would even worry, let alone do something to change it.

Not the room but not far off, photo borrowed from

After all the room is in this state and I do believe she would bring pals into this hole with no thought or concern of what they would think.

Teenagers have no shame.

The fact is that since I did her room last month, leaving her only a few things to sort out which to date have not been done.

I’ve had all sorts of advice from all sorts of corners, one gem being ‘close the room door’.

Unfortunately the door doesn’t close properly and as you enter our flat, the first thing you are confronted with is the room. (Bear in mind our flat is the flat that Jack built and there is no lock or catch on the door.)

Warning sign

But in fairness, closing the door just isn’t a real option or indeed a solution. Because it is a small flat it feels like the mess from the young wan’s room pervades like a bad smell throughout the flat.

It’s been a tough week, nothing to do with the room, it has more to do with all the other mischief she has been engaged in and I am looking for a one-way ticket for one person to somewhere, anywhere.

Think I'll head west!

Go West

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thordora said...

Ah...I forgot about my mess exceeding the limits of my doorway as a teen....and when we were in an apartment, the smell did spill out...

does it make you feel any better to know that she will grow out of it?

Red Mum said...


Red Mum said...

Only joking, but on a serious note the thought of another couple of years of this 'phase', as people tell me it is, leaves me mentally exhausted.

Fi said...

Why don't you put everything on the floor into black sacks and tell her its going to the dump if a home isn't found for it? My mum did that to my brother and I once and once only, she gave us the fright of our lives and cured our untidiness problem. It'll take effort and a gas mask on your part but hey her face could make it worth while!

cube said...

I have one & in a couple of years I will have two. Now do you feel better?

KnackeredKaz said...

Ummmm I'm 26 and I came home from work today to find that my mother had cleaned my, er, might take a bit longer than a couple of years for her to grow out of the phase!

I'm truly truly ashamed of myself....MUM MAKE ME A CUP OF TEA AND BRING IT UP TO ME AND A WEIGHTWATCHERS BISCUIT......sorry, yes, truly truly ashamed!

doris said...

What a shame considering all the work (and money) you put into making her lovely room.

It is no consolation but I have done exactly the same ..... sorted, organised and made a nice room only to have it in a permanent state of being trashed.

We are lucky because our 16 year old is now up in the loft so we can't see the mess unless we make an effort to go up there.

Along the lines of "shutting the door" what about a bead curtain of some sort on the outside of her doorway? Something attractive but takes the eye away from "looking in" to the room?

I never did find an answer and just let our daughter get on with it.

And I am going to say again... our daughter starting turning into a nightmare at 9 and came out of it by about 15. She still has moments of reminding us of our place ... it really is a phase. Just keep your eye on the bigger picture - an adult relationship with your daughter - and maybe find a way to deal with the mess.

As for KnackeredKaz.... are you serious?!!!! I don't know if I am shocked or jealous ;-)

Emma in Canada said...

Red Mum, I think we should compare messy room pics. I took a few of my daughter's a while ago, meaning to do a blog on the state of her room with before and after pictures. Sadly, I have been unable to take after pictures as it is only getting worse. One day, I'll have a child free, work free weekend and I will tackle it myself.

Col said...

Gosh, I feel bad now for what I put my poor mum through when I was younger! Sorry ma!

Boliath said...

I like the bin bag idea...I bet it would work! Give her a deadline...everything on the floor on Sunday evening is going out, then do it, no roaring or shouting, just do it. Maybe hide the bags somewhere so she thinks you really have thrown the stuff out. Then when you think she has learned her lesson, give her back the bags. You don't want to have to replace everything in them after all!