Wednesday, May 25, 2005

THE LIST - or things that really get my goat #1

· Men sprawling out with wide-open legs next to and on me on a bus, utterly vile.

· Half-filled cups of take-away coffee, did I ask for small, fill it up.

· People shouting on their mobile phones on the bus, wise up! Do I look interested in your conversation – ehm no!

· People letting their kids run riot on the bus (I spent too much time on public transport).

· Sandwiches which are packed with fillings that require dismantling before eating.

· Txt/sms messages from advertisers, how dare phone companies use my mobile number for marketing, I signed ‘no’ to using my address for marketing purposes so the same follows for my phone.

· People jumping ahead of me in Qs, can you see me waiting????

· The video machine turning itself off 10 minutes before the end of recording a programme. I’d prefer to miss the first 10 rather than last 10 minutes.

· Marketing/advertising/someone selling something phoning me at home, tell you what I won’t phone you at home during Coronation Street so you don’t phone me.

· People who will not move up the bus and instead stand near the front door like some kind of selfish muppet. As a result, people are left standing at bus stops.

· Motorists who do not indicate when making a turn because, well I haven’t a clue why! It defies logic.

· People looking for me to sign up to charitable donations when my arms and hand are full of shopping – not a good idea, choose your victim well.

· The Americanisation of the English language, fine if you are American but if you are an Irish teenager, it is so, like, WHATEVER!

· People eating noisily, particularly on buses beside me, I LOATHE noisy eating and by the way close yer mouth too – I don’t really want to see, at all.

· Men scratching themselves intimately on the bus, PLEASE NOOOOOO.

· The clipping of fingernails on the bus (really I have seen this at least three times – which is three times too many).

The feckin crazy frog, who is crazy enough to spend money on this shit!


Chocolate calculator...

1.First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. (more than once but less than 10.

2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold).

3. Add 5. (for Sunday)

4. Multiply it by 50 (I'll wait while you get the calculator).

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755.... If you haven't, add 1754.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are… your age!




smarty pants said...

fingernails? eeeeeeeeeeew!!! :)

Col said...

Even as a guy, I'm not too keen on that whole wide legged stance, thrusting your groin to the world!

Col said...

Oh, and I also hate that fricking crazy frog as well! Keep her lit in Dublin, and have a pint for me!

Jordie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jordie said...

My 4 thing hated:
Shitty 1970's wine glasses.
Wire coat hangers.
People not understanding when I say in a Belfast accent "what age are you"? Always seems to come across as "hi my name is Ian paisley".