Sunday, April 29, 2007

Ggrrrrr blogger

Yeah, yeah blogger recovers posts which have been lost so why hasn't the post I was working on for hours not been recovered when everything froze on my computer. GGggrrrrr. I can't even begin to start again. But I will at some point redo the post and indulge myself in Japan. That will become clearer when I do it again.

She is so grounded....

Mmmmh she said she would be home by 11pm.

And she isn't, though she phoned to say she might be staying late.

It's now 2.12am and she still isn't home yet.

She is so grounded that Nanny one...

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

It's life Jim, but not as we know it

The angle of the RTE report on the new planet this evening reminded me of something that made me laugh out loud. The reporter said 'it's life Jim but not as we know it' and it brought me back to being 16.

Mum/Nanny and I were on holiday. It was a last minute booking, Nanny had held off booking a two-week holiday in Greece until it fell to an appropriate price, ie low.

So while our bags were packed, we weren't ready to go until the price of the holiday to Rhodes dropped significantly, well she was being advised by a friendly tourist operator. In the end we paid less than half price anyway, the real cost was the fact that I was sitting on a wall at the bottom of our street when Nanny drove by in a taxi yelling out the window 'we are off in an hour, get a move on'.

And we landed in Rhodes, summer 1987, a massive heatwave which claimed the lives of a couple of tourists. It was so hot and a great holiday.

We had a ball, a great time. We had a wonderful hotel with cool people about and it was probably looking back on it now, while I have before now I don't think I ever realised, it was our girlie holiday, our first grown-up holiday, my Mum and me.

We had dinner, we had songs sung about us on the plane, Mum's was an apt Tom Jones number the nearest song to my Irish name is a Dolly Parton number and it was sung with gusto.

But the reason for my remembrance of this memory was the news that another planet, possibly one with water, has been found.

And it brought to mind my tape. For those of you who do remember, remember making a tape from the radio?

Well such a tape was one thing of many I went on holiday with.

I can't remember what was on it, I have a feeling there was a New Order number on it, but I could be wrong...

Anyway our hotel had a bar side pool with music. And one day the bar manager said if I had music he would play it, so I brought that tape I made just before I came away.

It all went well until that awful song Star Treking Across the Universe that I also recorded played.

"On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk, Star Trekking across the Universe, always going forward cos we can't find reverse". Now this is where things become cloudy for me. I don't remember if I held one tape recorder beside another or whether the tape recorder I used not only recorded the radio but also ambient sounds.

The long and the short of it is that in the middle of Star Trekking song, which I am embarrassed about, all you could hear through the loud speakers all over the hotel pool and bar was my Mum calling me by name, up the stairs in our house (and therefore loudly all over the place) if you know what I mean, asking me did I want potatoes with my dinner.

And when I say calling I mean saying ' REDMUMMMMMMM DO YOU WANT POTATOES WITH YOUR DINNER?... Loudly, course she didn't say RedMum, she called me by that Dolly Parton song soundalike, eh my real name.

Anyway I spent the rest of the holiday having people say/shout to me ' RedMum/RealName, you want some potatoes? Oh yeah in a faux-Belfast accent as well.

And I didn't, in the same way didn't respond the first time she asked me.

Okay I am leaving something out, my response, which was broadcast, loudly across the pool and bar ' AAAaaccccchhhhhhhhhh Mummy I am recording THAT!".

I didn't live that down for those two-weeks, at all. It's just one of the many Red Mum moments...

I'm sure I have that tape somewhere, maybe not, but wouldn't it be a geg to find... (Scroll down to find explanation of geg if you don't know it, cos you should, its a great word.)

Monday, April 23, 2007

America's Next Top Model is crack/craic

"My name is Red Mum and I am addicted to America's Next Top Model." There I have admitted it for all to see.

The Young Wan is also addicted, she was practically clapping her hands with glee when it came on this evening, for the last time in this current series. By the way is it terrible to bring herself down with me in my admission? Ah who cares, one down, all down. Hey sure even Nanny loves it and as she is visiting friends tonight I had to record it for her.

The fact that it is repeated continuously on Living TV which broadcasts the show, wasn't enough, Nanny wanted it recorded. So we have.

We all love it. For me, I love the photo shoots, I LOVE seeing the images from the photo shoots. I love looking at the lighting, working out the lighting, it is just addictive. The added nastiness and craic is just plain icing on the cake.

The fact that a pal from Flickr has had photographs featured on the show, something I learned a while after I met, was pure excitement. Do check out her/Mymsie's pics on Flickr, they are amazing and tell her I said hello. She also has a website too.

Can you imagine me watching the programme and squealing with excitement telling my pal Mar (who was watching the show under duress) 'that's Mymsie's pics'. It was more than cool to see pics I know from Flickr on a show I also love. Here's some more.

And now the current series being shown here is over and Cari-Dee won (yippeeee from our household - we didn't want Melrose to win - I know I know I am sad).

What are they going to show next week, it better be the next season. Seriously it better be. I have had enough mourning over the end of Life on Mars.

Though I loved the ending, what is so wrong with Happy Endings. One of the worst endings in the world was for Thelma and Louise.

And yes I know I should love it, two women deciding their own destiny, but they died. They died...

I wanted a deus ex machina to sort it out, was that too much to ask? That's what I loved about Life on Mars, aside from the lovely Simms, it had the fantastical wonderful happy ending, perfect. That's me happy.

Now could someone go back and sort out a happy ending to Thelma and Louise, and also bring back the next series of America's Next Top Model? Please.

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Harry Potter trailer

Oh oh, Harry Potter trailer, oh oh...



Can't wait...

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Just like the bus

IT'S just like waiting for the bus at the moment here with posting. You hear nothing from me for a while then three posts come along at once.

Considering I am going to be probably even busier over the next while I should have staggered the posts.

Ah well I'll just try to find some time for something, now I am off to write my column. And as normal I don't know yet what I will write about and I am trying to lay off the Junior Cert stories for the moment as there will be more than enough of that in June.

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RM column March 23 - There's nothing to do

‘There’s nothing for us to do’ is a frequent cry from young people and in fairness to them there is a lot in that statement.

As a Dub blow-in I am tempted to say ‘try being a teenager in the 1980s in Belfast’ but I don’t think that will hold any kudos at all.

It is hard being a teenager in Dublin in 2007, what is there for them to do? Not much really that doesn’t bring them into temptation’s path. Being a teenager is hard enough without having to say no to things, without having to go against the grain of teen pressure, can we expect them to always have the courage and balls to say no to the things we hope they will? Come on, you were a teen once, be honest, you know it can be hard.

When I was a teenager there was an amazing live music scene in Belfast, with bands made up of other young people I knew. While the only place to play was in bars, one of our favourites was a place called the Orpheus.

When I would say ‘we’re off to the Orpheus’ my Mum or Dad would tell us about the bouncing dance floor the original Orpheus club had. The springy dance floor allowed them to jive like bajaysus. However in the 1980s incarnation of the Orpheus there was no such thing but it was an amazing venue for live music as a teenager.

While the regulars would be drinking downstairs in the Orpheus all the young ‘uns would be upstairs enjoying the music.

The point is while there was frig all to do in Belfast we did have somewhere to go. Some of my pal’s parents would have been horrified if they knew their precious offspring was in a bar, but generally we were safe and with people our own age. Besides which if we somehow managed to get a drink we didn’t have the money kids have today so we would nurse our half pint of cider and blackcurrant all night.

I suppose the point there is that generally we were doing something we technically were not supposed to be doing but it was something and something generally good and wholesome, well apart from the cider that is.

So far I have been lucky drinking hasn’t been an issue with the Young Wan, yet… But I know it will be and I hope I will be cool, calm and collected about it all. In fact I hope I can be a lot cooler with that than other rites of passage that have taken place in our house when there was much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, from me.

I was talking to someone who has a 13-year-old and they intercepted text messages from them which talked about hidden poteen and smoking and they were worried and rightly so.

However as mad as it sounds and maybe it is easy and naïve of me to think that was a rite of passage, they’ve been caught (well done Mum), sure drinking has an allure for young people so they are bound to do it. It is not like they will be able to do that every night of the week, certainly not if you are about and watching. Smoking however is another matter and more worrying for me.

But don’t get me wrong, I am well aware and worried about how much our young people are drinking (as I have said here before), it is just that the first time getting drunk is kinda a rite of passage. If you spend enough time with your child you should know, will know, and will find them out.

People should lay off teenagers particularly when they are just hanging out, I did it and I am sure many other parents did it too.

I can understand the fear of some people when confronted with a gang of teenagers hanging outside a shop can feel uncomfortable, sure I feel that walking home on a dark night when a man is walking behind me, but that doesn’t mean they are up to mischief. So is it so bad they have somewhere to go, somewhere they find cool and not somewhere you think as a parent they will find cool, cos well they won’t.

Regarding drinking all we can do is keep talking to our teenagers and hope something is getting through the layers of peer pressure they are under, oh yeah and watch them like a hawk.

To counter the ‘there’s nothing to do’ scenario do more with your teen. Find something you will both enjoy and try to do it regularly. Now this is a practice what you preach moment and something I have to make time for myself.

Myself and the Young Wan are not out every weekend playing ten pin bowling or going to the movies, but now is the time to make sure this time is sectioned off. Because for now I am lucky in that she is not old enough to say ‘Nah, I don’t want to do that’ and before she is I want to ensure we have this fun time together. Besides it is during those times she will probably talk more about things that are actually going on in her life that she may not have mentioned before.

So it is bowling this weekend. What about you?

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RM February 2 - Good Study Practises

Yet another column about studying, non-studying and tips, none of which have actually been followed.

After my brush with my daughter’s annual parent-teacher progress report, the two common themes were ‘could do much better’ and ‘needs to apply herself’. Two pretty scary statements in the run up to her first State exam, the Junior Cert.

While nagging about studying is commonplace in our house, it obviously isn’t working so now it is time to try a different approach.

And I don’t mean bashing her over the head with her school books as tempted as I am, I doubt anything would get through that way.

While I have tried and tried to get her into a study routine throughout her school life, it has never taken effect. Time is now ticking by and it isn’t too late but it will be a shock to her non-studying system.

One search on the internet later and I have learned from some ‘experts’ that not all young people benefit from sitting at a desk with books layed out in front of them.

Some need to be able to move about, for these kids sitting prostrate at a desk will actually prevent them from learning. For others learning is all about what they take in visually and it is probably worth thinking about your own child and what method would benefit them best.

The same goes for music in the background. I personally think background noise is a bad thing however research does show that some need that stimulus but I would say wall and floor-shaking music defeats the purpose and don’t let your teen tell you otherwise.

Television is a big no no. It is impossible to sit in front of a telly and not be drawn to the screen so off it goes.

If possible designate an area of your home for studying, away from distractions. This can be in their room, the kitchen or in the case of my small abode, my bed.

In the next couple of weeks I am going to rearrange things in my room so I can put a desk there for the Young Wan to work on. There is a computer desk in her room, but I have decided there is no use nagging her anyway to make it into a work space, it isn’t going to happen.

Her books could not compete with her toiletries, make-up, non-school books and computer. So I have to come up with a better alternative and if that means her stuff strewn in my room so be it.
Organisation is key and something that is decidedly missing in the Young Wan’s psyche.

It is important to have reminders so study calendars, lists to show what’s been done and what’s left to do, not to mention tidy books and a tidy workspace all help sort out the mind.

The exam student should also be aware that studying is more than homework. When they read things, they should be taking down notes, they should be summarising what they have read, once they do these things they can then prepare flash cards/study points all of which will help reinforce the things and absorb important information they need to know.

Your student also needs your support that means regular meals, ensuring they get to bed at a reasonable time, helping with their homework where possible and when they are actually studying (not pretending) encourage them to take regular breaks to keep them fresh and ready to take in information.

All this is for starters, we are now into February, the exams are in June and the mocks are coming up in the coming weeks. It is as daunting for me as it is for her. But hopefully if we can both pull together it need not be a couple of months of hell. Here’s hoping anyway.

It's all gone quiet over here...

Once again I have been a bad blogger. I've been so busy and neglecting the blog that when I logged on there were cobwebs...

Anyway I thought I would throw up a few photographs to break the ice.

Chimneys

Laytown

Full moon - handheld

Friday, April 13, 2007

Meme time

I spotted this Meme on Vanessa's Rising to the Challenge. And as I am too tired to think let alone blog, here goes.

1.Whats your name spelt backwards?
Mumder

2. What did you do last night?
I was out working and got home about 11pm wired. So I ended up sitting up way too late and was seriously tired this morning.

3. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Photographs from work taken last night.

4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?
As a child yes I did. It was a buzz, boom boom.

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
Its mad, cos as a child up to teenager I would go swimming a couple of times a week, even by myself and I realise I haven't been swimming in years. I can’t remember the last time, probably whilst on holiday.

6. What are you wearing?
Black dress, boots and a cardigan.

7. How many cars have you owned?
None

8. Type of music you dislike most?
The shite kind.

9. Are you registered to vote?
Yup, I was brought up believing your vote is one of the most important things you possess and I still believe that.

10. Do you have cable?
Yeah a basic package.

11. What kind of computer do you use?
A dell inspiron
.
12. Ever made a prank phone call?
We made many as kids, hey I never said I didn‘t have bratty moments! ‘Is that Mr Wall, Mrs Wall’ etc the punch line when they say there are no Walls here, we’d say ‘whats holding up your roof then’. Or there was the ‘this is the Belfast Water Works, would you go and see if your water is running please’. When they would come back saying ‘yes it’s running’. We just about answer through snorts of giggles ‘well you may get after it before it runs away’.

13. You like anyone right now?
I like lots of people.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Being petrified of heights I doubt it.

15. Furthest place you ever travelled?
Georgia USA I think.

16. Do you have a garden?
Nope I have a window box.

17. What’s your favourite comic strip?
I don’t have one.

18. Do you know all the words to the national anthem?
I don’t, I never learnt it in school, where things like that are normally ingrained in you. I know the end ‘throwing nelly around the lake’. I suppose I should have learned it myself at some stage.

19. Shower, morning or night?
I prefer night, but whenever.

20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
I haven’t watched any movies that I can think of, but I would like to see ????

21. Favourite pizza toppings?
As plain as possible, cheese, pepperoni, nothing else, it makes them soggy and yuck. I have always found pizza to be a let down in comparison to the pizza you get in the States.

22. Chips or popcorn?
Chips.

23. What cell phone provider do you have?
Vodafone.

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
No but my grandparents had an old fashioned fire with a hot plate that swivelled over the fire. I loved going there for lunch from school as the frying pan would be on the hotplate frying sausages and a northern stable vegetable roll. A pork roll thing with tiny bits of scallions in it, hence the vegetable roll name. It is yyuuumm with buttered bap, a floury bap, which is a particular northern break and the best.

Oh yeah that’s why I was talking about that we used to roast monkey nuts on the plate.

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Embarrassingly sort of, if Butlins counts. My Mum would put me in every year. But then we all entered all the competition, it was part of the fun when you were a kid.

I once spent days working on a fancy dress costume before our yearly Butlins outing. I planned it out in advance, got a large box, big enough to fit in and made a rubix cube. I wore black underneath and had shoulder straps that held the box up. All the adults spent a couple of days thinking up a funny slogan until my Uncle B came up with ‘I may be a rubix, but I’m no square.’
I thought I had it in the bag.

But I was beaten by one of the many of us who were there, we would go to Butlins en-masse, our family, cousins, uncles, aunties, next door neighbours, their families, the people across the road and of course their families. And as we got older add everyone’s friends to that mix.
One of the other families aunties was judging and they gave the prize to their niece who wore brown cords, a brown jumper and a monkey mask with a sign saying I am from the planet of the apes.

Seriously!

I am no longer bitter about that. But seriously planet of the apes come on!

I wouldn’t have minded if it had been the slogan she won with the year before when she wore the exact same costume/clothes with some branches attached and a sign saying ‘special branch’.

Feckin nepotism.

26. Orange Juice or apple?
Orange juice.

27. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?
probably my work colleagues, everyone is just grabbing a sandwich at their desk.

28. Favourite chocolate bar?
For that have to have chocolate urges it has to be half a mars bar with a cup of tea, then I have the other half later. Even though it has been years and years since I would consider myself a Catholic, I think there are traces of Catholic guilt and I delay the pleasure until I have earned it.

29. Who is your longest friend and how long?
I am incredibly lucky to have the same group of friends my whole life. It would be Tawdrey. But there are loads more CC, Tetra, Jah, all school friends. I have other good friends I have met along the way, but the crowd I had in school are still the same crowd I have now. It’s funny Tetra and I were in the same gang growing up and we bickered all the time until we found our level in our 20s. Ha but we still bicker.

30. Last time you ate a home-grown tomato?
Can’t remember probably in Jah’s place in Spiddal, she’s an incredible horticulturalist.

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Yes, the most recent my wonderfully Abu Dhabi, Emirates Palace-shaped Irish Blog Award. I also used to win the swimming gala in Butlins each year. Ha and I should have had that fancy dress trophy too...

32. Favourite artist?
Richard Avedon. I love his portraits.

33. Favourite computer game?
I was a massive fan of Dolphin Olympics. Ach I miss TCAL.

34. Ever ordered from an infomercial?
No but Beaut.ie is seriously depleting my bank balance.

35. Sprite or 7-UP?
Sprite

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
Not at primary school, but we had to wear a uniform in secondary. We had a maroon tunic in the junior classes of secondary and then they changed from a plain maroon skirt to a tartan horror when we moved to senior school. We all got a fierce hard time about that.

37. Last thing you bought at a store?
Onions, mushrooms, and roses.

38. Ever thrown up in public?
Yes. The most memorable was when I was pregnant and with someone who is now an MP in England, I remember feeling vile and when the moment happened I have never seen anyone jump as quick and far away as possible.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
Ha both scenarios feel about as likely as each other.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I think I do. I think I have done it but it all felt so mad you are not sure if you believe it.

41.Can exes just be friends?
Yeah. I have friends whom I previously dated. It all depends on whether or not lines were crossed.

42. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Tetra when she had her beautiful baby.

43. Did you have long hair as a young kid?
Yup, still do. I sometimes wonder what I am going to do when I get too old for long hair it feels so much like me.

44. What message is on your voicemail machine?
Nothing strange, just hi you’re through to me, leave a message.

45. Where would you like to go right now?
Nowhere I am perfectly content being home.

46. What was the name of your first pet?
Max

47. What kind of backpack do you have, and what’s in it?

I don’t have a backpack but I always have a large-ish bag which has too many things to list, should I list them? well alright then

Bus pass
Camera
Purse
Cheque
Receipt from An Post for a parcel
Make up from Benefit, damn you Beaut.
A remote control for the camera, never really used yet.
Dental floss
Pens
Diary
Notebook
Keys
9.83 euro in loose change

It is actually remarkably not full of the normal shite.

48. Last incoming/outgoing call on your phone?
Incoming: Tetra
Outgoing: Home.

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
I am grateful that Nanny is back helping.

50. What do you think about most?
At the moment work and the bloody Junior Cert.

Monday, April 09, 2007

A new visitor - Say hiya to Nanny everyone

I HAVE recently had a new visitor here, someone who I have told to stop by long before now but who never did until recently.

Despite calling my Mum or Nanny, a techno-techno-technophobe, not only has she been stopping by but she managed to comment here on my video of the doggie. Nanny's legs feature near the end of the video as she was the one giving the doggie treats to get her to roll over, obviously the doggie rolls over not Nanny. Ach watch the video on the link and find out for yourself.

So everyone wave hello to Nanny. Hiya Nanny. You know you have a category here all your own, though I think they mostly involve the tidying of the room for your arrival

Mmhh maybe like Ellybabes I can encourage Nanny to blog, the Young Wan has one half-started and exams and the ehm non-studying aside, I'd love her to continue. When it is up and running I'll let you all know.

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Saturday, April 07, 2007

Bad Good Friday

IN my working life I have only ever had Good Friday off a couple of times, this year was no different. I was working but it was fine. Town was quiet and the bus makes its way across town quickly when everyone else is off work and school. Aside from being locked in just when I was going home, the day was actually good craic.

Then I got home where I received a letter I have been waiting for that I have not been successful in the latest round of affordable housing lottery draw done by Dublin City Council.

I say I have been waiting for the rejection letter because irregardless of being normally a positive person I have a feeling the scheme is a non-starter for me. To say I am pretty despondent about it would be an understatement. But that is probably a post for another day. The crux of it being I have to get my own mortgage and my initial inquiries only provided me with €50k less than I need. Don't talk to me about affordable because I wonder who it is affordable for...

Anyway our lack of doing anything over Easter made me think of things I have done before during this time. One of the more memorable ones was the Easter a gang of us spent on an island off the coast of Donegal.

We were going to Aranmore Island, an absolutely beautiful spot and six of us headed up from Dublin to Letterkenny where we got a lift from someone else's brother to Burtonport where we would get the ferry to the island. The six of us were in the back of his large hiace van with no windows for a journey of about an hour.

To say we were green after the journey would be an understatement but we were in great form, and once out of the back of that hellhole hiace, feeling grand.

As there was no boat about we headed into the local pub in Burtonport and had a pint. I remember asking for crisps and was told there was no crisps BUT they had steak. I still laugh about that and we all ended up having steak. While we asked about the ferry times we were fobbed off with tails of ferry times being a relative thing.

Now I wouldn't dare say we were being held deliberately so we would miss the ferry and maybe stay and drink more and then stay for the night in one of the local premises. I would not imply that at all.

At one stage we went outside only to find a couple of ferries had been and gone while we were having our steaks inlcuding the last one of the night.

We were treated to an awful story more than once about how some kids had drowned doing the crossing a few years back with a fisherman (as were contemplating asking one of them to bring us over) so we decided we would stay the night and go in the morning (which would have been Good Friday) laughing about how stupid we were to miss all those ferries in the first place.

So the bartender recommended a B+B in the village and one of us headed over to book. We didn't want much and from the first visit we would get what we wanted which was two or three rooms whatever they could manage. From what I remember there was no one else staying at the time.)

The member of our gang who was negotiating the rooms said the woman said we could have six rooms if we wanted no bother with a cracking breakfast in the morning.

Great, we thought we are elected and about an hour later we sent over someone else with all the bags and a different story emerged.

"There'll be one room for the boys and one room for the girls. AND there'll be no bacon in the morning because it will be Good Friday," the B+B woman said with a pinched face.

Hhmm now this was a spanner in the works, we couldn't even begin to work out her complete and utter u-turn in offers.

So as one of the lads was from Donegal and had relatives nearby a phonecall was made and the next thing we knew we were heading out in a taxi to stay in a caravan on the guy's relative's land.

That night alone was funny. We all woke up hearing this eerie call which turned out to be his uncle calling in the dog 'Darkieee' 'Daaarrrrrkkkiiiieee'.

The taxi came back the next morning and brought us back to Burtonport where we successfully caught the ferry to Aranmore Island. (Here's a link to the current ferry operator).

We arrived into the cottage where we would be staying and there was a great fire lit when we went in cooing and ahhing. We were there no time at all before someone knocked on the door with a big bin of turf saying 'we heard you had some problems getting over yesterday. Here's some turf and if you need anything else let me know'.

And off he went. We didn't know who he was or where he came from and we all thought wow. They heard about us and the ferries yesterday and look at the wonderful fire.

As there are no gardai on the island we thought there might be a chance of a drink, not that I would say we would have gotten a drink, we didn't. But that was what we thought. Only the Gardai came over on the boat that day, Good Friday, just to make sure there wasn't any drink to be had.

Two things were happening in the island that night, a rave thing and a country and western night, we foolishly choose the rave thing.

We were the only ones there. Oh yeah except for the 14-year-old behind the decks singing into the microphone 'give me an e, eat 'em up, yum yum'. We were more than bewildered, we eventually wandered off and ended up playing hide and seek on the dark beach.

Course as it turned out all the craic was at the country and western night, which we found out the next day.

The next thing I am probably a bit embarrassed to admit but apparently the cottage we were staying at would have been known as a party cottage when people were up staying.

On Easter Saturday some of us walked to see the lighthouse on the island, a long walk, so that night everyone was knackered and headed to bed early-ish.

The wee hours of the morning saw loud knocking on the door. At the time it felt like something from a horror movie (remember that one with the Satanists and the caravaners - we had all seen that?).

It felt like there was a big scary crowd outside and there probably was a big 'friendly crowd' only we were big bloody eejits and were scared and wouldn't let them in. I laugh about that now heartily when I think of it.

So that's how I spent Easter a couple of years ago, and it was a great and wonderful weekend. This weekend the highlight will be the Sunday dinner tomorrow before heading back to work on Monday.

Happy Easter and I hope the Easter Bunny brings you lots of chocolaty goodness. I managed to get two eggs this year unlike last year... Phew, well I did learn from last year.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The apple game

WE have a game in our house whilst eating apples. I'll take a bite, break a bit off from it and give it to her to eat, she just loves it, always has done. And we share this way until the apple is done. Course it means I only get half an apple but sure.

We played it again this evening and I threw (and scored) the core into the fireplace where the remains of a fire from a couple of days ago still lie.

(While the weather has been wonderful and the past weekend marked the first time I had all the windows open in the flat all day I am under no illusion that the fire will stay unlit until autumn.)

Course she thought there was more apple to be had and retrieved it out of the fire ready for more. Thinking urrghh at this I gave her another apple, though I did take a bite out of it first (hey come one she had half of mine) before throwing the eaten apple core into the little bin.

When my back was turned, she ignored the full minus one bite juicy lovely apple and took the core out of the bin and proceeded to eat the lot, ashes and all.

Seriously sometimes there is no rhyme or reason with doggies.

Morning time
My two honeys out for the count.

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Monday, April 02, 2007

RM Column - March 8 In the time of a teenager

A mix-mash of old and new... And I'll get on top of the actual dates when published at some stage...

It’s funny how time moves in different ways around the Young Wan depending on what she has to do.

If it is something for me, like say the dishes, time practically stops. She moves slowly, takes her time and stretches something that should only have taken five minutes to half an hour.

If I ask her to put something away, slowly, she, gets, up, off, her, chair, then, stands, and, thinks, about, the, command, in, question, before, slowly, doing, what, she, is, told.

This drives me nuts, completely and utterly.

She so far has appeared to lack that killer speed move, where a couple of things are done at once, like washing dishes, drying them, preparing food and answering the phone whilst keeping an eye on the news all at once.

I may have mentioned before the first thing ever said about her was by the midwife who helped me deliver her; she said the Young Wan was very ‘laid back’ because she didn’t cry.

And that mantle has been firmly on her head since birth; on the whole I love it. Then at times it drives me nuts, completely and utterly.

It has been great in that I could always take her anywhere without worrying about her acting strange, she was great in any situation with anybody.

But it has also meant there are times when I could happily use a cattle prod on her.
Course now she is a teenager she moves even more to the beat of her own drum.

So at times she potters about like she has all the time in the world to do whatever she wants. Then other times because she is late, say to meet the boyfriend, she tears around the flat like Speedy Gonzales.

The first time I saw that I was completely gobsmacked, I thought ‘so she can move’ when I should have really thought ‘so she can move when it suits herself’.

Say for example someone is coming over to the house and there are a couple of last minute things to be done, such as take out rubbish, take your books from the living room, why is your uniform in the living room, can you take the emptied contents of your school bag off my bed – the list is kinda endless, and she moves slowly.

It is at this stage I start doing the clapping.

Do you know what I mean? When I was a kid and dawdling my parents would do the clap clap, chop chop routine, where they keep saying ‘chop chop’ whilst clapping loudly.

I now do it too, I think it was instinctive, but it doesn’t work.

Not unless the Young Wan wants it to work.

I have seen the room, albeit badly, tidied in an hour so she can go to her drama class. I have seen dishes done in record time so she can go into town with her pals. Sometimes it is about trying to work out blackmail tactics will get things done.

Though in fairness while I have tried that it is a hit and miss affair.

She blew me away one morning when we slept in until 8.20am. Our normal wake-up call is at 7am and usually by 8.20am the Young Wan is already on the bus. Not that morning.

I leapt out of bed and woke her though she had already dragged herself out of bed.

Normal people would get themselves together as quickly as possible. What does the Young Wan do? Go into the shower and wash her hair because it was 'so greasy'.

I do not need to say here how she should have done that last night instead of looking at YouTube. That would be too sensible and teens don't generally do sensible. I don't need to say how she barely had time for breakfast let alone a last minute pampering session and when you are that late, washing your hair is a pampering session.

So it would seem there is always time to wash your hair, teenagers are mad.

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RM February 15 - Sweet 16

Right I have well and truly messed up my column dates, I have only just realised that the last column I posted was from March and not February. Arrghhh. Ah well it'll sort itself out in the wash, as they say.

Heading back home after work the other night the Young Wan pipped up “can I have a sweet 16 party?. I looked at her expectantly looking back at me and told her that notion was made up by MTV therefore no.

Have you seen that programme on MTV? It is vile, full of absolutely horrible teenage girls who only have to plead ‘Daddy, ohhh Daddy pleeaaseee, I really need a mercedes for my birthday, the volkswagon Beetle is just not me’ and they get bought the mercedes.

If you are into watching programmes featuring obscene and crazy amounts of money spent to put a little smile on the face of these fools’ daughters, then make sure and tune in.

Not only do these teens get bought a brand new car, but they also have the most and immoral lavish do which makes them the envy of their friends, nay their towns.

I don’t know what is more cringe worthy the obligatory car or the no-expense spared party, the dramatic entrances on horseback, the ‘my party must be the best EVER’ tantrums, the guest appearance of 50cent or ’oh please Daddy book’ Green Day, the trips to Paris to find the perfect dress; it is extravagance in it’s most decadent and a disgrace.

And the Young Wan, knowing this and in fairness to her she isn’t too impressed with it either), and having watched some of one or two programmes with her (I usually switch over in disgust long before the end) she still asked for a sweet 16 party. Teenagers are complete and utter chancers.

Even the name makes me cringe, whatever happened to having a 16th? Your 16th may be a milestone for your typical teenager but not a milestone along the lines of an 18th - key of the door/first official drink milestone.

So I told her she would have an 18th birthday party and we’d have a ball. She looked at me with a big question on her face as it to say ‘we’.

So I told her, her friends would be invited, my friends would be invited and of course family. She looked horrified.

She told me “well I’m going out”.

Reminding her she needed my permission to go out just made her give me a look as if to say ‘yeah right’.

“It’s my birthday” she said out loud and into herself she said ‘and I’ll do what I want’.

It got me thinking it shouldn’t be the child’s birthday it should be the mother’s. After all I was the one who spent 36 hours in labour to give birth, it should be me who gets the party and the presents.

So it is decided, I will have a sweet 16 AND 18th and you are all invited.

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