Come away - everythings a-okay

I MEANT to post on this before now and have just been so busy, this is my tribute to Sesame Street and its forthcoming contribution to teaching tolerance, I can’t wait to see what they come up with for northern Ireland.

You may have seen the other Irish Blogosphere’s coverage here on Slugger, on Shitty First Draft, and Most sincerely folks and in the Irish Times (subscription site).

Now while Sesame Street is American, and I have the utmost respect for many many Americans, still I hope this doesn’t go arseways.

I think we can imagine just how cringy and bad it could be but I think there are enough brains there to do good. I would imagine that intensive consultation for want of a better phrase with those who know will take place as part of the programme’s research.

Still I love Sesame Street and think there is enough brains there to do good. After all they are the ones who brought us the Muppets and Pigs in Space.


Piiiiiiggggggsssss iiiinnnnnnnnn SSSSPPPPPPpppacccccceeeeeee

I remember when the Young Wan was wee Sesame Street was one of the few kids programmes on telly during the day. At that time there was no Tweenies, no Tellytubbies – as hard to handle as these programmes are for adults, kids just love them and that’s what it is all about.

I have seen friends with young children be able to get time alone, sometimes it is only five minutes but it is some time alone while the babies watch all manner of fun programmes, ‘Again, again’.

When the Young Wan was wee we had Barney from when she was about three to four years old, thank GOD that stage is long over, and thankfully the telly has more now.

Anyhow there was Sesame Street and I vividly remember watching one clip with the Young Wan featuring a cute bird in a tree singing about how it lived with its mummy in one tree and its daddy lived in that tree over there.

I was transfixed by this, I mean, wasn’t this fantastic? Here was a programme which would be on in the background in our home when it was on. (While the Young Wan is a telly addict like many of us and many, many teenagers, she was never really bothered when young. I would say partly to do with the fact that when she was younger few programmes catered for children of that young age.)

But Sesame Street was doing in its own wonderful way depicting a scene showing normal life as normal people know it, in all its wonderful, remarkable and varying ways.

Or there is the wonderful sketch Jordie told me about after a babysitting episode for gorgeous nieces G and A and watching Sesame Street where four beetles came out singing ‘letter b, letter b” before positioning themselves as a letter B - fantastic.
Course being a Beatles fan and of the belief that if you want to know about music you need to know the Beatles, I would think that.

Sesame Street has been going strong since I was a child, I remember it vividly though I have to say I always felt too old for it, but it never stopped me watching it and I learnt my first Spanish word there ‘aqua’. Hands up who remembers that ongoing theme?

I also loved the Muppets, like everyone in our household in the 1970s and for those of you who also loved the Muppets here’s an iconic scene which even the Young Wan can sing and I do not know if she has even seen it – I will be sure to show her tomorrow.


I loved Kermit's nephew Robin.

Repeat after me Ma na ma na, do doo do dodo.



Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs Dublin Ireland sesame street tolerance

The Teenage Art of Mispronunciation 1 and 1a

EITHER I am going deaf or the Young Wan has very recently adopted a much more muffled and distinctly incoherent manner of speech.


Pic from web.mit.edu/thirsty-ear/

This is very, very frustrating considering it is not that long ago that her normal speech level involved speaking at the very top of her voice.

So while this mumbling makes her appear to be hesitant about what she is saying, she is not, the real reason is that she is a teenager and effortless mumbling is just too cool for words.

In addition to the drop in volume and coherency, she has also taken to mispronouncing words turning one word into a completely different word. I mean completely.

I’ve decided to make these words an ongoing series. So even if I cannot correct her speech into submission, at least we can all have a laugh about it.

The Teenage Art of Mispronunciation 1 and 1a

Number 1
Young Wan: ‘I left my buck in school.’
Me: ‘Pardon.’
YW: ‘I left my buck in school.’
M: ‘Sorry excuse me’.
YW: ‘My BUCK.’
M: ‘I asked you to repeat yourself because I thought you said ‘I left my buck in school’.’
YW: ‘I did.’
M: ‘You left your adult male of some animals, such as the deer, antelope, or rabbit in school?
YM: *SIGH* ‘My booooooook.’
Me: ‘Oh okay, now I understand.’

Number 2
Young Wan says pointing: ‘Luck.’
Me: ‘Luck??!!??
YW: ‘Yes luck!
M: ‘Luck as in good luck, luck of the Irish, better luck next time luck?
YW heaves a big sigh: ‘Looook.’

More in this series coming soon. Feel free to add to the growing list if you have any of your own.

Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs teenagers Young Wan Dublin Ireland mumbling

I think I killed it

I THINK I have killed it.

I had one of those occasions last night where the Young Wan tripped over the phone line which was connected to the laptop, knocking over a glass of wine onto the floor and nearly sending the laptop flying.

But she didn't.

Oh no the real damage was done by me.

Not 10 minutes after the Young Wan had her trip, I proceeded to with a flourish knock the repoured glass of wine all over the laptop.

You have never seen me move so quickly in your life.

However I think I killed it.

Well the mouse pad anyway. Despite drying it upside in front of the fire, the mousepad is acting up badly. I am not sure if anything else is working properly yet, we'll see tonight.

Until then I have left it in the recovery position.



Oh please get better, I haven't finished paying for you yet.

Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs laptop Young Wan Dublin Ireland

Redmum column Jan 26

And here is this week's column which I have already posted and it has mysteriously vanished. Hmmmmm something is trying successfully to thwart my posting attempts today...



Body Percings (ouch) and the perils of town

Letting your teen go into town with pals is one of those landmark moments in a child’s life and development but it is a landmark that is absolutely fraught with worry for parents.

I recently let the Young Wan go in with some pals and off they set with the warning in their ears not to be tempted in any shape or form to get a little light-fingered. Not that I think they would but it would be too easy to goad someone in doing it so the warning was just to be sure.

Aside from shoplifting the other worries revolve around losing her money, getting mugged, lost, oh the list is endless. It is dangerous out there and it can be hard giving them the responsibility they need to grow and keeping them safe.

Anyway off they set dressed up to the nines and delighted with themselves. And they returned before their allotted home time having spent their money on Kurt Cobain posters and lip gloss, they were happy and I was happy.

However along with the posters they also picked up a leaflet about body piercings with the most eye-watering menu of ‘procedures’ I have ever seen.

It would seem that the days of going to the chemist where they used an earring-shooting gun on your ear are long over. Not to mention the fact that judging by this leaflet, earrings are seriously passé, fogeyish and nothing in comparison to the well shall I describe them as intimate piercings listed.

I am miffed that a responsible business even allowed kids near the premises and hopefully getting a leaflet is as far as they will get. But I am also annoyed that this could plant ideas in their impressionable heads.

The leaflet was smart, glossy and informative and it almost promised a cool lifestyle for the initiated pierced person.

We all know parents whose children went off and got their tongue or bellybutton pierced without permission. Do I think the Young Wan is that impressionable, of course she is, she is a teenager and that is her job, unfortunately.

I looked over the leaflet with a pal and I realised that I just do not like piercings. It is something that I like on others just not on me and certainly not on the Young Wan.

I have my own ears pierced twice; hey I grew up in the 1980s give me a break. However I have always found earrings to be an absolute pain, catching your hair, banging about, getting lost so I do not think I have worn earrings in years and years.

The thought of my beautiful child piercing her tongue ending up in a big fat tongue for God knows how long or having any of the other trends like a bar through the eyebrow is just too much. I cannot move beyond the these piercings mean your body is marked, scarred and maimed for life. What will they look like in 50 years? I shudder to think.

Is this where I sound old – so what and so be it. I cannot stand the thought of the Young Wan marring her beautiful face. And do not talk to me about tattoos.

Conversations with the Young Wan on the fickleness of fashion appear to fall on deaf ears but so far she only has pierced ears, thank God. She appeared less than keen on most of what was contained in the leaflet. In fact she found most of them hilarious.

Do not get me wrong, I do not take that as a given for ever and ever. But for the moment I can rest easy-ish. Or maybe I should have another chat with herself, excuse me.


Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs The Echo Redmum column

Yeucky firefox viewing

OH HELP I was trying to post to the blog unsuccessfully I might add from Firefox and Performancing. My laptop seems to have taken well to Performancing, not this snazzy new computer…

When I did manage to upload the post directly through Blogger.com I checked it out in Firefox and to my horror it looks like this.



Instead of this.



The pictures are wonky, there is background colours on the text bar where I do not want any and for some strange reason the title bar has a background graphic on it.

I haven’t seen this before and I haven’t a clue why or how or anything. Has anyone any suggestions ideas, anything?

I don’t like this, one wee bit. Yeuck yeuck yeuck Help.

Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs Firefox performancing performancing problems

Redmum column Jan 19

FIRSTLY here’s the first readers’ letter concerning the phone nazi post as well as last week’s installment concerning fathers’ rights. As ever the original wording is contained below.







Why fathers' rights groups have it all wrong

Once again last week representatives from fathers’ rights groups protested over visitation rights and I have to say that I feel very uncomfortable with the campaign.

It is hard to listen to their arguments without coming to the conclusion that many are anti-women rather than pro-father. And the debate is rarely centered on the child in any real way despite being the most important part of the debate.

This is certainly a very complex issue but it should not be focused on fathers or indeed on mothers, instead we should be talking about children. They are the ones who are really losing out.

We know that the best place for a child is generally with its mother – research backs this up. However that is not to say that fathers are not important, of course they are a vital part of a child's life and must be, where ever possible, as involved as possible.

I will be honest and say that much of my feelings about this stems from the fact that my own daughter's father has had no part in her life since she was four years old and that has been his choice.

However that is far from the only thing to influence my opinion, there are many, many other women and children in our position whom I know to also back that up.

My ex and I spilt when our child was a baby and we continued on in an uneasy relationship until our child was four when all hell broke loss. As much as I tried to be adult in it all it was very tough carrying a lazy father on top of everything I was already doing, ie being a mum on my own going to college as I was at the time.

During this time he married and also paid no maintenance, except for four months of a miserable £60 he paid when she was four years old.

What I didn't know was the resentment he and his new wife had to paying me this pittance maintenance, this resentment built up and a row of epic proportions took place.

So I decided at that point that nearly four years of organising, arranging, accommodating, travelling, and basically making his fatherhood as easy as possible, that I had had enough.
If he wanted to see her, he would have to ring and arrange it. He never has.

So who has been hurt in this, where do I start?

His mother, very much so. Other members of his family, absolutely. Me, yes without a doubt. But of course the real one to have lost out most of all and in all sorts of horrible ways is my honey.

Then I read about the various fathers' rights campaigns and I find it so hard to be sympathetic. And I know it is wrong because I know fathers who have been separated from their children by bitter-exes, but I know more mothers and more importantly children let down and left high and dry by their former partners/fathers.

There is an outrageous statistic out there for irresponsible fathers who have abandoned children without realising/caring/taking action on the implications for the children. I seriously worry about the moral lessons we are teaching our children, particularly our boys, this devil-may-care attitude is common-place now but will have serious implications later on.

We need to teach all our children responsibility and duty, and without repeating the age-old adage these are seriously lacking in many, many young people. Unfortunately in this debate it is the responsible fathers who bear the brunt of this irresponsible behaviour. But the debate on fathers’ rights needs to take a different slant altogether, we should not even be talking about father’s or mother’s rights; it has to be about children's rights.

Surely that encompasses everything that is important about this debate, not about one ex being wildly bitter over another, which seems to me to be at the centre of most of the arguments we hear.

We should make it about our children and their well being, there is nothing more important at all.

Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs The Echo Redmum column

Real life versus the internet

I SAW this clip sometime ago and just found it again on Google video – it is so funny and spot on. It's called Real Life Versus the Internet. My personal favourite bit is the section about discussing politics in real life and on the internet. Very funny indeed.

Here’s a link to the clip.



Technorati Tags: Redmum Irishblogs Dublin Ireland internet

George Galloway's cat on video

IF YOU have some time to kill check out Google Video, every funny thing you have ever been sent on video is there, try and search and see.

I found this clip of George Galloway humiliating himself set to music, it is not as good as my pal Jordie's Rula impression 'you have some cream on your whiskers darrrling' - excellent.



Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs
George Galloway Google video Ireland

One more post about Ryanair

I PHONED Ryanair to complain this afternoon following the attitude of the woman at the check in desk and I also wanted to check the policy on suitcases and weight.

Only there is no complaints department, you have to write. Says a lot about the company really. And if I am being honest it would really put me off flying with them in the future. I have little interest in giving money to people who treat me like a bold child instead of a paying customer.

Apparently the weight rule is true and someone else told me that it is relatively new rule. And as a parent it is a ludicrous rule. Well not even as a parent, it is a stupid and nonsense rule. And all the better to get your money my dear.

Thankfully the Young Wan is 14 now and stronger than me and would actually be more capable of lugging a case about. (We discovered in Jordies over the weekend that the Young Wan could not only match and top both Jordie and my strength in an across the dining room floor arm-pulling wrestle type of thing, but she actually hauled us flying across the floor - scary)

I paid the adult price for her as Ryanair do not do children's prices and that's fine. But for convenience, ease, a million of things, I cannot imagine hauling over two cases say for a week's visit to someone for an adult and a younger child, never mind more than one child.

But hey this is the airline which charges people with disabilities money to use wheelchairs.

So I will, yes I WILL, write and complain that they do not think enough of their customers to have a complaints department and about this nonsense rule concerning baggage. Oh and of course that awful woman's attitude.

I was also told this evening by a taxi-driver that Ryanair are planning to decrease to a third the amount of baggage allowance from 15kg to 5kg and allowing you to bring 10kg on board. I can't remember how much you are allowed to bring on board, but either way this is reducing baggage allowance again.

So be warned cos all these things make your cheap ticket not so bloody cheap. And that is that, I will not be flying Ryanair again if I can help it. Book ahead with Aer Lingus is going to be my mantra.


Technorati Tags: Ryanair, Redmum, Irishblogs, dublin, ireland,

Ryanair's courtesy knows no bounds

I JUST got back this morning from a great weekend away with my pal Jordie and her wonderful family and I am absolutely knackered.

It was a mad busy week last week where I wasn’t in one place long enough to do anything other than work really so it has been a bit quiet here, apologies for that.

Once I had the doggie-sitter sorted for the weekend (thanks Kaz, who wrote about her weekend with the doggie here) we set off early on Friday morning, returning on a 7am flight this morning.

That was something else. It is so obvious that Ryanair send their staff for rude lessons and what an effective course it is too.



My last experience of Ryanair involved a staff member sticking the palm of her hand right into my face saying ‘when I have dealt with this I will deal with you’ before walking off never to be seen again.

I thoughtabout telling her the gesture is probably one of the most confrontational I have ever seen. If she doesn't know already, she will when some fraught traveller punches her on the nose.

But maybe that is a ploy, cos then you react, security is called, you are evicted from the airport and they get to resell your seat to the poor person who missed check-in by 30 seconds.

And it was a bit like that this morning.

We sprinted into the airport at 6.18am for a 7am flight while someone was still being checked in. when they moved off the helpful fecker behind the counter informed me she was closed.

‘The desk closes at 6.20am’ she said looking over my shoulder at a clock behind me. Both the Young Wan and I were already traumatised by our 5am wakeup call and her in her school uniform and all and the woman went ‘WELL OKAY, but really next time get here early, this is just too much - *Massive sigh* - WHERES YOUR BOARDING PASS, QUICKLY QUICKLY, this is just too much’.

She moaned and chastised me like a bold child, rude auld bat and then proceeded to complain that my suitcase was too heavy after shouting at me for trying to put another bag beside it.

At 18kg, it was 3kg over the weight for one person, but yes there were two people traveling with a combined weight of 20kg. And she made me move stuff into a different bag with the lovely and snazzy Dyson hoover donated to the Redmum household by Jordie (Cheers!).

Now is the combined weight rule one of the many hidden rules that Ryanair has that we do not know about? Where you cannot pack two people’s belongings into one suitcase? She kept shouting at me saying ‘Hurry UP – I have no time for this’. Then going ‘STOP I need to tie this’.

I could have happily smacked her, but being a peace-loving woman and a I want to get on that flight woman I decided to let her rant, she was only really upsetting herself getting all worked up.

As hard as it was to listen to her moan at that time of morning; I did cos I wanted onto the flight that I had paid for, the flight that would get the Young Wan to school and me to work on time.

Ryanair staff have to be the most unobliging staff in the world. Makes you proud doesn’t it?

Oh and while their courtesy knows no bounds, I was happy with the pictures I took on the way over.


Bye bye Dublin







Technorati tags: Redmum Irishblogs Ryanair Ryanair staff

Testing testing

I TRIED somewhat unsuccessfully to post here via Mozilla firefox and performancing (I think) on Friday afternoon and encountered some problems.

I like the whole idea of blogging being made as easy as firefox makes it seem, I also like having a number pages on one, with the excellent tab function enabling me to go from page to page while keeping my post on screen and visible. A very easy way to include links. I also like the way you can automatically add technorati tags easily.

Over the weekend I couldn't remember where I downloaded this blogging buddy thing that I have on my pc so I would also have it on my laptop. How and ever I have to say on the PC Firefox and the blogging companion looks cool and easy to use.

However on Friday, I decided to give it a whirl, so I wrote my post and it was ignored. I think I downloaded something else which rectified that but I can't be sure, I've a memory like a sieve.

Then I tried to add images from flickr the normal way I do by grabbing the html for the size I wanted.

This time it posted with the html post intact but not displaying any photo just the code.

Not knowing enough about what I was actually doing or where I was going wrong, I logged into blogger and posted there.

So now I am going to try to post this and a picture, though I may lose the pic if the dimensions do not work.

Here goesssss

Technorati Tags: irishblogs, redmum, firefox, attempt, test

Technorati Tags: irishblogs, redmum, firefox, attempt, test

Rice or mats

BEHIND my cooker is one of those moveable butchers block (well in fairness that is a VERY big description for something so very small) but anyway behind the moveable storage yoke are things like my massive soup pot and other kitchen impliments because I have nowhere in the corner that is my kitchen to store them.

And this unit is packed nearly flat against the back of the cooker and wedged at the corner of my bay window.

So there isn't much room in there.

I had occasion to pull the unit out tonight because I dropped something behind the cooker and while retrieving it I had to pull everything out, move the table, chairs, and plant on stand. Which was probably a good thing because corners like that in our home tend to be magnetic and pull stuff from everywhere into their abyss.

Or so it would have appeared until tonight. I realise someone has been helping this magnetism with their own brand of recycling. I discovered empty yoghurt cartons, discarded by the Young Wan who somehow has an aversion to bins.

Seriously what is the deal with that? I just do not understand.

Why go to the trouble of throwing them down the back of the cooker knowing they WILL be found never mind the fact that the bin is actually closer and less hassle to throw away properly.

So I retrieved my dropped item, poured a glass of wine, sat down and informed the Young Wan the corner would be cleared of all that rubbish NOW.

I went on to add that 'if we ever get rice or mats I know who is responsible'.

Shish wish I could speak proper.

Technorati tags: irishblogs redmum

It's heat time

IT'S that time again, the wee doggie has gone into heat again. And yes I do not want her with puppy so I will definitely get her sorted before the next time.



So as you can imagine we are being so careful with her. The poor baby’s walks have been curtailed because once again she has a full-blown doggie stalker, oh and he is a million times more determined than the last one which I wrote about here.



Not only that but he is also deadly cute and bloody ancient. He has taken to following the Young Wan and me about. He walked her to school this morning, walked me to the bus stop and nearly had the Young Wan barred from Tesco earlier this evening.

He is whining outside the window and has a sixth sense gauging very well the moments that anyone looks out the window and does his best pulllleeeeaaaasssee cute face.

And his whining has been matched only by the wee doggie. While I was getting ready to go to work this morning, she moaned and whined for about an hour.

I thought she was whining about her suitor being outside but she was whining because the Young Wan’s chair in her room wasn’t perfectly positioned enough for the doggie to look out the window.

Other times she gets all agitated pacing about the place before going into a full scale whine.

She is also pretending to need to go a lot – she gets outside, does a territorial pee has a fantastic sniff about the place before being brought back inside for a treat.

And that is when Scruffy as the Young Wan has named him isn’t hanging about which is all the time now.

So we have been bringing a jug of water with us when we bring her out.

I was looking out the window late the other night, as I do because there is nearly always entertainment out our window.

But I looked because I heard mad barking and there was Scruffy in the middle of the main road which was quiet only because it was about 1.30am barking and looking like a dog possessed.

A cyclist came by and stopped and tried to catch him for whatever mad reason and Scruffy took off with the cyclist following. It looked like the cyclist was worried and thought maybe Scruffy was more Lassie than horny. I laughed before going to bed.



Hopefully though it won’t end up like the last time when on three occasions strangers walking by and buzzed the flat to tell us our dog wanted in… I suppose I am lucky no one phoned the doggie protection people.

This current heat phase has been building up since just after Christmas so there are another couple of weeks to go.

So until then the wee doggie will continue to hump our cushions, sorry to our visitors in advance – when we get home in the evening the flat is like a battlezone where the wee doggie has battled and won against her deadly enemy the cushions – moan and whine.

Until then this is the closest she is going to get to another dog.



Awful tiring this being in heat malarkey!





Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs Dublin Ireland stalker

Red Mum Column January 12

HERE'S this week's Redmum column as featured in The Echo concerning becoming a phone nazi. The untweaked original is posted here.



Becoming a phone nazi

One of the things you notice most about your children growing up into teenagers is the mounting phone bills.

About a year ago I made one of the worst financial decisions in recent times when I baulked at the price of a 100 euro house phone thinking it was just too bloody expensive.

This was an amazing phone which could be locked with a PIN. That was until my phone bills hit the 200 euro a month mark.

Before the Young Wan was a teenage monster our phone bills would average between 60 and 80 euro, sometimes more depending on overseas calls. Then they crept up to 100 euro and up and up.

Realising that the culprit was the Young Wan who had become Busby I hunted high and low for a phone lock, to no avail.

That’s when I checked out this snazzy phone, one of those new ones with a base and all. It could be locked from all calls except 10 designated numbers that you could programme in as well as barring calls from particular numbers.

But it was 100 euro and without thinking about it carefully enough because that was before the phone bills had reached their limit, I choose not to buy it.

By the time the monthly phone bill hit 200 euro, I hit the roof.

I did try to talk to her, as well as shout, scream, pull my hair and worry incessantly about how I could not afford this at all. It obviously did not sink in with her and another €200 bill arrived.

The bills’ represented a foreign holiday for us both that we will not get, clothes for us both again that we won’t get, payments for the many bills, money spent talking to someone they have just left five minutes previously.

I suppose one of the things that has upset me most about this is that I tried reasoning, tried to explain how much of a blow losing that money each month was to us and our household.

I don’t even think she fully comprehends what a complete and utter waste of money those bills have been, money we don’t have.

It’s not as it I never allowed her to make calls I do in the evening despite this when she could left alone for five minutes she would call whoever and on their mobiles too.

If I popped out of the house and would call home the line would be constantly engaged. The explanation was always ‘such and such called me’.

This lie would be held onto despite the fact that we get itemised phone bills. Well we know that logic and teenagers do not generally mix.

So I finally bought the phone and in one month it paid for itself with it’s fantastic PIN where the only numbers that can be called without the PIN are my mobile, my work and 999.

Now everyone has to phone her, which I think it is only fair. It is time that other parents bear the brunt their children’s aimless ramblings on the phone and not me.

I would recommend to other parents though who find their phone bills rising steadily to invest in one of these phones and get a PIN that the teenage monsters cannot work out.

The Young Wan did for four days at the outrageous cost of 90 euro. She will never be able to work out the new code.

I have become a phone nazi and I would recommend anyone else to do that too. It’s the only way. Feck talking to them, this is a teenager in a world of their own, so just do it.

Technorati Tags: redmum irishblogs Dublin Ireland Redmum column

What was George Galloway thinking?

I HAVE previously promised myself that I would never post about Big Brother, even though I am a saddo and do watch it.

But I am cringing my way though this Celebrity *yamn* Big Brother, what a bunch of arses the vast majority of them are.

They are picking on that mad woman Jodie, who would I have to say get a swift kick of the arse from me, but they are so guilty of the very behaviour they are accusing her of. Pot kettle and black.

Most of them are just horrible, Barrymore, George, Pete, horrible horrible people.

One last thing EVER about BB but WHAT ON EARTH WAS GEORGE GALLOWAY THINKING GOING IN?

I tuned in last night at the milk-slurping part and was sitting absolutely agog and speechless. I couldn't work out what was going on or why was it happening. I was traumatised.

For those of you who are lucky enough not to have had your retinas burned out by this display missed former Labour MP George Galloway, I believe, had to pretend to be Rula's cat and at the same time has scuppered any hopes he has of being reelected.

I felt like I was watching animal porn.


[I couldn't get my camera outquick enough and instead captured this dodgey looking pic of Rula stroking George]

Oh how many of you heard George when he was bitching about Pete Burn's crazy cosmetic surgery.

He said that while he couldn't understand Pete's need for surgery that he thought he was a great musician and that he just loved his music even pledging to buy his 'album'.

I laughed heartily, can you imagine the scenario.

GG: I would like to purchase the album of Pete Burns
Shop: Is that Dead or Alive?
GG: Excuse me? He's alive.
Shop:I mean, is that Pete Burns from Dead or Alive?
GG: MMmmm not sure, let me see.
GG: Nah that couldn't possibly be him, that's a different bloke altogether.

Who ever advised George that going into the BB house was a good idea must be bricking it BIG TIME.

Technorati tags: Redmum Irishblogs Big Brother George Galloway Celebrity Big Brother Pete Burns

The worst joke ever

I THINK I have fallen prey to some very bad internet joke, it’s my own fault for following a link to the best blonde joke ever. I don’t even like blonde jokes.

So I did and went to another blog with a link to the best blonde joke ever, which led me to another blog with a link to… you guessed it the best blonde joke ever.

And all this on a dail-up internet connection too. I gave up at that point.

I only followed the second or was it the third link because I was thinking you all cannot be serious with this nonsense.

If you fancy a wild goose chase go to the blonde joke link at the left-hand of the NewsNow (http://www.newsnow.co.uk/newsfeed/?name=General+Blogs) blogging top stories list. I refuse to link to it directly after my travels last night so this will only work today when it is the top story (no doubt others did the same).

I wonder if they are taking part in some mad tracking experiment or maybe they just want to p*ss people off? Ah who cares anyway

Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs blonde joke Dublin Ireland

Big Head

Young Wan: “Do I have a big head?”

Me: “Ehmm yeah you do have kinda have a biggish head.”

Blank yet confused look from the Young Wan…


Picture from Libraryman

Me: “Well no it’s not big big, it's not even big, it’s completely in proportion with your body. You don’t have a big head but you don’t have a small head. It is just right.”

Young Wan: “Just cos you have a small head, huh!”

Me: “No I don’t have a small head, I just don’t have a big head.”

Sometimes our conversations rival the nonsense that’s been going on in Celebrity Big Brother.

Technorati tags: redmum Irishblogs Dublin Ireland Mum Daughter Mum daughter

Where do you get your support?

ONE of the hardest things about being a single parent is the fact that you have no one to turn to for support.

Yes single parents have family and friends and oh god yes without them things at times would be completely and utterly grim and black, but I mean the support of a partner.

And the need for this intensifies over time.

I remember just after the Young Wan’s father and I split up someone said to me about how hard it would be not having her father about to share stuff, like her first steps and all those important milestones.

They were making the point that other people couldn’t share in their joy that parents would have.

Now I disagree with that purely concerning I suppose the positive aspects of parenting.

When the Young Wan reached those milestones those who were around me and who I lived with loved them and felt those huge moments.

But as they get older, particularly the teenage years, the milestones turn more negative, sometimes and for some parents or maybe some parents some of the time.

Then something happens, some new aspect of behaviour and occasionally as a parent you feel like your life is falling apart at the seams and there is no one to really turn to.

And again friends are worth their weight in gold but sometimes despite advice or a listening ear or just sounds of comfort while important do not take away that feeling of ‘what is happening here?’.

Most of my friends have young babies and are what I am sure feels like a lifetime away from teenage monster stage I am at so while the phrases ‘it’s only a phase’ or ‘what were you doing at that age’ or ‘ach don’t worry’ strike a chord they do not ease me at all.

Besides don't they have their own worries without me offloading everytime I need to.

Maybe it’s a recent groundless belief of mine that having a partner means you can share your worries with the person who maybe could make it easier.

I just feel that coming home to someone and saying ‘can you believe what they have been up to’.

They can say ‘ach sure...’ discuss it with you calmly, you can both give out yards to the offending teen, dish out a punishment and then you could both have a laugh over a cuddle later in bed, having tackled it together.

So after years of not agreeing with the commentator about not having the Young Wan’s father about to share things with, I am not maybe feeling the implications of it now like never before.

And maybe being a mummy I am just a worry-monster. I was already a worrier before I had the Young Wan and now well I could win Olympic medals for worrying.

Maybe I am just idealising it all, but for many couples this support is a given. And that’s one major set back against single parents.

I can even wonder if the thought of life with a teen who is not yours is too much hard work, stress, worry or conflict for a potential partner.

The lovely man is wonderful, calm and supportive, his calmness is quite the polar opposite to me, and at times I think what on earth does he make of this?

He thinks she is just the business, an absolute star whatever has been going on which is very much how it should be, but at times the things that have been going on must have made him want to run for the hills. For f*cks sake I have wanted to run for the hills but being the responsible adult running is not an option.

All this has inspired by events tonight which right now I would care to forget, maybe soon I can laugh about it and post it here. Right now that’s just not an option not with my worrying mind.

But I suppose the bottom line is I am sitting here mangled in my own thoughts and worrying for Ireland. If gold is the highest Olympic medal I am going for platinum.

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Redmum column January 5

I must have been on a roll for the last two columns, cos here is another new one.



Repeat this phrase: ‘it’s only a phase!’

2005 has certainly opened my eyes to parenting I’ll tell you. It was forever be the year where absolutely everything I know and feel has been tested to the hilt.

Up until recently I felt like a fairly competent parent, on top of things but that was before the Young Wan was replaced by a teen monster. So I have gone from feeling like I know enough answers to feeling absolutely and completely clueless.

But somehow I have gotten through the year and I do not know how. Despite it all I am looking forward to a much different new year.

Considering most of my friends have only really started their families, I generally feel a little isolated in terms of what has been happening.

I met another mum whose son is a year younger than the Young Wan and as we walked to the bus one morning I could hear my own concerns and fears in her telling of broad stories of her family’s life.

And it struck me that when the Young Wan was small there were people I could talk to, there were other mothers and fathers from school or playgroup or even the people who worked in crèches.

So even though as times I felt isolated, there were outlets to talk about things that worried or even amused me. Parents share so much when their children are young, then when they get older we stay quiet.

We are losing out on so much valuable information and support by this. We should be talking to other parents. It would make the world of difference to know that we are not the only ones who are enduring a particular ‘phase’.

The ‘it’s just a phase’ is a term I haven’t really heard in a number of years well until recently anyhow.

It was the generic term I heard a lot during those times when the Young Wan was a toddler and would insist on feeding herself though she managed to get little actually into her mouth, unlike her hair, ears, clothes and walls. Or the times when she would just not sit down in her seat on the train preferring to continually bang her head on the carriage tables in a bid to say hello to everyone there.

It was almost like she grew out of behaviour that happened in phases but somehow grew back into having phases. And it makes me yearn for the best advice ever – from other parents of teenagers now who are experiencing the same type of events like me.

After all, teens travel in packs so maybe its time for parents to do so too. There has to be consolation to know there is nothing at all that hasn’t been done already and experienced and endured by another family.

On a purely practical reason alone times to be home by could be coordinated so there can be no argument about times ‘Oh such and such gets to stay out until 10pm’.

Parenting is tough, we know there is no manual or no rule book, so being a parent is a learning curve. So the bottom line is who better to seek counsel from than other parents?

Happy New Year and remember it’s only a phase. It’s only a phase, IT’S ONLY A PHASE.

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Redmum column December 22

THE Christmas festivities delayed the posting of the column until now. It's the first all-new column and not cogged together from something else. So here you go!



All I want for Christmas is...

If any of you are looking for something interesting, useful and a must-have for mummies and daddies this Christmas, look no further than a ‘Mosquito’ or failing that high frequency welding equipment.

There is nothing unusual in that when you know that Howard Stapelton (39) from Wales discovered when he was 12 that he could not bear the noise in his father’s factory where workers were using, yes you guessed it, high-frequency welding equipment.

Since that visit as a child Howard has cunningly come up with the ‘Mosquito’ which emits high pitched frequency sounds that children can hear but adults can. And children do not like it.

In fact it can be heard by most people younger than 20 and almost no one older than 30. On the whole I can live with that. I have younger friends but sorry pals I’d sacrifice ye all for some peace and calm.

He’s been testing it out at the entrance to a Spar shop in a small village in Wales. The owner of the shop was going to install a sound system to blast teenagers away with classical music until he discovered the ‘Mosquito’.

Well why culture the kids away with Bach when a high-pitched ear-piercing sound will send them away in pain?!?

The owner said that after installing the high-pitch sound emitter teenagers would come into the shop with their fingers in their ears begging him to turn off the sound but he explained to them that he had to keep it on to ward off birds in case of bird flu. Ha and they fell for it or maybe it was just that the pain in their head was so bad…

All this information was contained in an article which has appeared in The Grocer, a British magazine as well as the New York Times no less.

While I have to admit that they all sound like killjoys, we all know that teenagers hang about in packs and while it can be intimidating for some, not all young people are up to mischief.

Mr Gough doesn’t think so, he said: “It’s difficult to shoplift when you have your fingers in your ears.”

MMmhh quite, okay so both the shop owner and the inventor sound like two big killjoys, I hung about like that myself at that age but the worst thing we did was buy Mars bars for everybody.

While some are up to mischief not all of them are. And even I think they sound like a big pile of killjoy.

How and ever there are many, many occasions where the ‘Mosquito’ could be useful.

What about the top deck of the 77? Wouldn’t that be nice? Or what about those with older teenagers putting one of these devices around your drinks cabinet, okay how many people have a drinks cabinet but it could work around the cupboard or the bottom of the fridge where you keep your six-pack.

And I am sure the ones who put the railings around the Central Bank in town would love to get their hands on this machine if it works.

I’d be content with one that spreads a no-go-zone area around my make-up bag. Did you hear me Santa?

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The decorations are away, thank God

I'VE just taken down the Christmas decorations, well the Young Wan helped a lot, well her helping was me directing but sure, they are down and away in their boxes.

Thank God for that.



Is it a case of ‘Bah Humbug’ to want them down, away and not collecting dust anymore?
Don’t get me wrong, I love getting our home cleaned, washed, tidied and dressed for Christmas.

But we live in an old and dusty house, a house which needs a serious amount of renovations, not to mention the fact that there is an open fire and don’t talk to me about the dust that creates particularly with peat briquettes.

So by the end of the festive season I just want it all away, packed away, and stored for next year.



Now it is (PHEW) and all I need to do is to get my room back into normal year time mode. Ah but sure manyana, manyana – the decorations are away and the rest of it will get done eventually, won't it.

And I realise its not the 12th day, who cares, they have been up about 12 days so thats enough for me. The last time I was in the States they still had decorations up in mid-February. Bad luck keepin them up me arse! Pain in the arse granted, bad luck - come on!

Ach and the poor doggie is really missing her Nanny who left today to go home. Well we are all missing her, a lot. Though tough as it can be to have your Mammy in your small home(two mummys in one house - need I say anymore), it's always great to have her here too. The doggie is pining now and keeps jumping up to the seat by the window and looking out to see if she can see her or indeed the car.

Just then she demanded to be lifted up onto the Young Wan’s bed where Nanny was sleeping (it’s a high rise bed) to check if she was there and then wanted back down again when she knew for sure that Nanny wasn't there.

Poor baby. Time for some hugs.

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Hot dogs and clever cats

OUR little doggie really is one of the most cute, smart and funny animals I have ever come across.



She knows when there is food left over from dinner and will sit and look dejected and abused until she gets some.

Lately we have taken to making her work for these tasty tit-bits and morsels by getting her to do all her tricks.

But she gets all excited and does them all at once and then some with lots of little new added features.

Once you go towards the scraps she is behind you like a shot and once you say the magic word ‘sit’ she follows through with a manically dizzy foray of twirls, roll overs, sitting, lying down, jumps, giving five and walking. I really will have to capture it on video because it is just too funny for words.

She also loves going out in Nanny’s car.



As soon as Nanny gets her boots on, doggie will not leave her side at all. She howls the place down if Nanny leaves the flat without her and can hear the word car being uttered anywhere in the flat and is in like a shot.

So not only will we miss the car, the doggie will be devastated.



So I started this post about how clever the doggie is but check out this story on Yahoo about a cat which called 911 in the States after its owner collasped.

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Police aren't sure how else to explain it. But when an officer walked into an apartment Thursday night to answer a 911 call, an orange-and-tan striped cat was lying by a telephone on the living room floor. The cat's owner, Gary Rosheisen, was on the ground near his bed having fallen out of his wheelchair.

All I have to do is train the doggie to dial my mobile if the Young Wan is misbehaving…


My babies in my bed…

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Another one over and 14 years ago...

WELL it is back to work day and I am sitting here freezing and unable to type because of the cold. There’s lots of deleting going on as my fingers are hitting two and three keys at the same time. Oh and like many of ye I am uurggghhh at being back at work. So that’s it all over for another year.

You would have thought that I would have taken it easy last night considering the end of the holidays back to work time but no not me. I sat up with Nanny until about 4am last night watching Roseanne repeats on the comedy channel, chatting and drinking wine, too much wine.

So I am feeling a little ropey, a lot tired and happy to have a bottle of cold bubbly coke on my desk.

I did get a bagel to bolster the auld energy supplies but after catching up with people for too long it became rubbery and inedible, so it is sitting beside me now looking very unappetising indeed, a bit like meself at the moment.

So it is nice to know that over the holidays I decided to treat myself and the Young Wan to a weekend away to a pal of mine in Liverpool. Definitely a pleasant something to look forward to.

We love going over to visit. My pal is an old and dear friend back from my school days. We met at 11 and while not bestest mates to begin with, we soon quickly were and remained so since. There is a lot of history there and it is always soooo good to catch up. I count myself blessed to have her as a friend and I cannot wait to spend time with herself, her fantastic hubbie and beautiful babies.

By the way speaking of babies 14 years ago I was just recovering in hospital having spent 36 hours in labour! Its funny I was just telling the Young Wan one of the stories last night after seeing Saturday Night Fever on the telly and realising that it was shown on January 2 14 years ago as well.

You see that was the morning I went into labour, after having spent a week of sleeping until the afternoon, I woke at 7am unable to sleep anymore and having these pains every five minutes and then nothing for a while.

Subconsciously even though the pain was more like a slight cramp I must have realised the labour had started because I got into the shower and proceeded afterwards to clip my toenails on a rocking chair by rocking back and lunging forward at the forward moments. Cos of course I couldn’t touch my toes at that stage and there was no way I was letting the Young Wan’s Daddy do it for me.

Gradually over the morning everyone who lived in the house got up and by lunchtime I decided to head back to bed to watch Saturday Night Fever, only at that point Nanny called to see me.

So that put paid to John Travolta.



Anyway we pottered about and packed a bag and went off to hospital just to see whether or not I was actually in labour.

And for the whole time I was hooked up to the monitor there wasn’t one contraction, not one. So they decided that they would send me home. Only the doctor said even though they normally wouldn’t do it, they would give me a quick internal.

“Oh my god you are six centimetres dilated, you are staying here!’

That was about 6pm and she still wasn’t delivered until 12.15pm the next day. The rest of the labour is another story however I would not want to scare you by telling you anymore, unless of course you are a mummy and then you probably know what I am talking about anyway.

Anyway happy birthday darling, sorry for giving you such a shitty date for a birthday but you did take your time in coming. XxX

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